I have a jar of pickles that is too tight to open.

what should I do? I will post here because I am very stupid, lazy and
spineless. I like to talk and talk and talk and do nothing on my own.

It was suggested that I heat the lid with hot water and then try to open
it, or to turn the jar upside down and hit the bottom, then try to open
it. These are very clever and simple, so I will try them all last.

I will talk some more about all this before I try anything. I need lots of
encouragement from people on the internet before I can do anything on my
own. I am very weak, I need lots of help with simple tasks.

Write back to me, before I start to cry from the lack of attention.

On Jun 24, 5:44 pm, Cydrome Leader wrote:
I have a jar of pickles that is too tight to open.

what should I do? I will post here because I am very stupid, lazy and
spineless. I like to talk and talk and talk and do nothing on my own.

It was suggested that I heat the lid with hot water and then try to open
it, or to turn the jar upside down and hit the bottom, then try to open
it. These are very clever and simple, so I will try them all last.

I will talk some more about all this before I try anything. I need lots of
encouragement from people on the internet before I can do anything on my
own. I am very weak, I need lots of help with simple tasks.

Write back to me, before I start to cry from the lack of attention.



diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick.

Cydrome Leader wrote:

what should I do? I will post here because I am very stupid, lazy and
spineless. I like to talk and talk and talk and do nothing on my own.

If glass, drop it on concrete. Don't worry about the glass shards. Those won't hurt you.

Wes

On Tue, 24 Jun 2008 21:44:03 +0000 (UTC), Cydrome Leader
wrote:


I have a jar of pickles that is too tight to open.

what should I do? I will post here because I am very stupid, lazy and
spineless. I like to talk and talk and talk and do nothing on my own.

It was suggested that I heat the lid with hot water and then try to open
it, or to turn the jar upside down and hit the bottom, then try to open
it. These are very clever and simple, so I will try them all last.

I will talk some more about all this before I try anything. I need lots of
encouragement from people on the internet before I can do anything on my
own. I am very weak, I need lots of help with simple tasks.

Write back to me, before I start to cry from the lack of attention.



See link for a commercially available jar opener:
http://www.jeremywise.net/blog/wp-co.../10/50cal2.png
Mike Patterson
Please remove the spamtrap to email me.
"I always wanted to be somebody...I should have been more specific..." - Lily Tomlin

"Cydrome Leader" wrote in message
...

I have a jar of pickles that is too tight to open.

what should I do? I will post here because I am very stupid, lazy and
spineless. I like to talk and talk and talk and do nothing on my own.

It was suggested that I heat the lid with hot water and then try to open
it, or to turn the jar upside down and hit the bottom, then try to open
it. These are very clever and simple, so I will try them all last.

I will talk some more about all this before I try anything. I need lots of
encouragement from people on the internet before I can do anything on my
own. I am very weak, I need lots of help with simple tasks.

Write back to me, before I start to cry from the lack of attention.


That's an HVLP (Has Vacuum, Lid Pops) system....

On Tue, 24 Jun 2008 16:02:12 -0700 (PDT), wrote:

On Jun 24, 5:44 pm, Cydrome Leader wrote:
I have a jar of pickles that is too tight to open.

what should I do? I will post here because I am very stupid, lazy and
spineless. I like to talk and talk and talk and do nothing on my own.

It was suggested that I heat the lid with hot water and then try to open
it, or to turn the jar upside down and hit the bottom, then try to open
it. These are very clever and simple, so I will try them all last.

I will talk some more about all this before I try anything. I need lots of
encouragement from people on the internet before I can do anything on my
own. I am very weak, I need lots of help with simple tasks.

Write back to me, before I start to cry from the lack of attention.



diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick.


Indeed

Gunner

I missed the Staff meeting, but the Memos showed that Cydrome Leader
wrote on Tue, 24 Jun 2008 21:44:03 +0000
(UTC) in rec.crafts.metalworking :

I have a jar of pickles that is too tight to open.

what should I do? I will post here because I am very stupid, lazy and
spineless. I like to talk and talk and talk and do nothing on my own.

It was suggested that I heat the lid with hot water and then try to open
it, or to turn the jar upside down and hit the bottom, then try to open
it. These are very clever and simple, so I will try them all last.

I will talk some more about all this before I try anything. I need lots of
encouragement from people on the internet before I can do anything on my
own. I am very weak, I need lots of help with simple tasks.

Write back to me, before I start to cry from the lack of attention.

Okay, you're going to need a tig welder, a 68 inch length of
T-1203 Aluminum T extrusion (3/4" standing leg with a 38.75mm cap).
And two diamond scribes.
You'll also need a sack of Quickset concrete, a plastic
wheelbarrow and one 800 count cotton sheet. Plus two blasting caps, a
length of det cord and one procto-probe (you can reuse the one
forgotten by the aliens after your abduction.)

Post when you have those items collected. I'm sure you have a
lludium R-37 Explosive Space Modulator (not the Q-36, that's the wrong
size for this.), so you'll need to have that charged up and ready to
go.


toodles
pyotr



--
pyotr filipivich
We now return you to something called reality.

On Jun 25, 8:08*pm, pyotr filipivich wrote:
I missed the Staff meeting, but the Memos showed that Cydrome Leader
wrote on Tue, 24 Jun 2008 21:44:03 +0000
(UTC) in rec.crafts.metalworking :



I have a jar of pickles that is too tight to open.

what should I do? I will post here because I am very stupid, lazy and
spineless. I like to talk and talk and talk and do nothing on my own.

It was suggested that I heat the lid with hot water and then try to open
it, or to turn the jar upside down and hit the bottom, then try to open
it. These are very clever and simple, so I will try them all last.

I will talk some more about all this before I try anything. I need lots of
encouragement from people on the internet before I can do anything on my
own. I am very weak, I need lots of help with simple tasks.

Write back to me, before I start to cry from the lack of attention.

* * * * Okay, you're going to need a tig welder, a 68 inch length of
T-1203 Aluminum T extrusion (3/4" standing leg with a 38.75mm cap).
And two diamond scribes.
* * * * You'll also need a sack of Quickset concrete, a plastic
wheelbarrow and one 800 count cotton sheet. *Plus two blasting caps, a
length of det cord and one procto-probe (you can reuse the one
forgotten by the aliens after your abduction.)

* * * * Post when you have those items collected. *I'm sure you have a
lludium R-37 Explosive Space Modulator (not the Q-36, that's the wrong
size for this.), so you'll need to have that charged up and ready to
go.

toodles
pyotr



--
pyotr filipivich
We now return you to something called reality.

Please, pyotr, don't encourage him to build this jar opening device -
he's a troll. He'll only write back wanting all sorts of construction
details. He'll probably even want to know what color to paint it, for
crying out loud.

John Martin

Cydrome Leader writes:

I have a jar of pickles that is too tight to open.

what should I do? I will post here because I am very stupid, lazy and
spineless. I like to talk and talk and talk and do nothing on my own.

Put the jar between your knees near your crotch, and shoot off the lid
with a pistol.

Maxwell Lol wrote:

Cydrome Leader writes:

I have a jar of pickles that is too tight to open.

what should I do? I will post here because I am very stupid, lazy and
spineless. I like to talk and talk and talk and do nothing on my own.

Put the jar between your knees near your crotch, and shoot off the lid
with a pistol.


Or just swallow the jar, whole. He has enough acid in him to eat the
lid off.


--
http://improve-usenet.org/index.html

If you have broadband, your ISP may have a NNTP news server included in
your account: http://www.usenettools.net/ISP.htm

Sporadic E is the Earth's aluminum foil beanie for the 'global warming'
sheep.

pyotr filipivich wrote:
I missed the Staff meeting, but the Memos showed that Cydrome Leader
wrote on Tue, 24 Jun 2008 21:44:03 +0000
(UTC) in rec.crafts.metalworking :

I have a jar of pickles that is too tight to open.

what should I do? I will post here because I am very stupid, lazy and
spineless. I like to talk and talk and talk and do nothing on my own.

It was suggested that I heat the lid with hot water and then try to open
it, or to turn the jar upside down and hit the bottom, then try to open
it. These are very clever and simple, so I will try them all last.

I will talk some more about all this before I try anything. I need lots of
encouragement from people on the internet before I can do anything on my
own. I am very weak, I need lots of help with simple tasks.

Write back to me, before I start to cry from the lack of attention.

Okay, you're going to need a tig welder, a 68 inch length of
T-1203 Aluminum T extrusion (3/4" standing leg with a 38.75mm cap).
And two diamond scribes.
You'll also need a sack of Quickset concrete, a plastic
wheelbarrow and one 800 count cotton sheet. Plus two blasting caps, a
length of det cord and one procto-probe (you can reuse the one
forgotten by the aliens after your abduction.)

Post when you have those items collected. I'm sure you have a
lludium R-37 Explosive Space Modulator (not the Q-36, that's the wrong
size for this.), so you'll need to have that charged up and ready to
go.

Ok, I have all these items now. I got them at a government auction. They
are all very high quality. I am very clever and when done with these
items, I will paint and resell them.

Put the jar between your knees near your crotch, and shoot off the lid
with a pistol.


Hehe. Two, maybe three birds with one stone. Make him non
reproducable

wrote:

Put the jar between your knees near your crotch, and shoot off the lid
with a pistol.

Hehe. Two, maybe three birds with one stone. Make him non
reproducable



What? You want to deprive his village of a replacement idiot?


--
http://improve-usenet.org/index.html

If you have broadband, your ISP may have a NNTP news server included in
your account: http://www.usenettools.net/ISP.htm

Sporadic E is the Earth's aluminum foil beanie for the 'global warming'
sheep.

I missed the Staff meeting, but the Memos showed that Maxwell Lol
wrote on Wed, 25 Jun 2008 21:07:46 -0400 in
rec.crafts.metalworking :
Cydrome Leader writes:

I have a jar of pickles that is too tight to open.

what should I do? I will post here because I am very stupid, lazy and
spineless. I like to talk and talk and talk and do nothing on my own.

Put the jar between your knees near your crotch, and shoot off the lid
with a pistol.

Have a fiend (if he has a friend) use a shotgun (if he has a
shotgun).
--
pyotr filipivich
"I had just been through hell and must have looked like death warmed
over walking into the saloon, because when I asked the bartender
whether they served zombies he said, ‘Sure, what'll you have?'"
from I Hear America Swinging by Peter DeVries