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-   -   OT I usually lose but I always enjoy it (https://www.diybanter.com/metalworking/292046-ot-i-usually-lose-but-i-always-enjoy.html)

Don Foreman November 18th 09 05:10 AM

OT I usually lose but I always enjoy it
 
Mary is going to have lunch with her friend Jan tomorrow so I was
teasing her about her once again going out with her phancy phriends
for a posh lunch while leaving me to fend for myself. She said,
"there's a crust of stale bread for you on the counter."

"Yeah, I saw that. You sliced it on the bias in both directions;
what was once a loaf now looks like a wedge."

"My slices today were just fine."

"I'll bet. Good thing you don't do circumcisions! Your victim would
be peeing on the leg of the hapless gent next to him."

"I see nothing bad in that if they're democrats!"


Buerste November 18th 09 07:51 AM

OT I usually lose but I always enjoy it
 

"Don Foreman" wrote in message
...
Mary is going to have lunch with her friend Jan tomorrow so I was
teasing her about her once again going out with her phancy phriends
for a posh lunch while leaving me to fend for myself. She said,
"there's a crust of stale bread for you on the counter."

"Yeah, I saw that. You sliced it on the bias in both directions;
what was once a loaf now looks like a wedge."

"My slices today were just fine."

"I'll bet. Good thing you don't do circumcisions! Your victim would
be peeing on the leg of the hapless gent next to him."

"I see nothing bad in that if they're democrats!"


Time to take lunch into you own hands! Just how many pots, pans, spatulas
and mixing bowls can you leave dirty in the sink and on the counter? (Just
for effect, you'll have to clean-up a bit later.)



Karl Townsend November 18th 09 11:08 AM

OT I usually lose but I always enjoy it
 

"Buerste" wrote in message
...

"Don Foreman" wrote in message
...
Mary is going to have lunch with her friend Jan tomorrow so I was
teasing her about her once again going out with her phancy phriends
for a posh lunch while leaving me to fend for myself. She said,
"there's a crust of stale bread for you on the counter."

"Yeah, I saw that. You sliced it on the bias in both directions;
what was once a loaf now looks like a wedge."

"My slices today were just fine."

"I'll bet. Good thing you don't do circumcisions! Your victim would
be peeing on the leg of the hapless gent next to him."

"I see nothing bad in that if they're democrats!"


Time to take lunch into you own hands! Just how many pots, pans, spatulas
and mixing bowls can you leave dirty in the sink and on the counter?
(Just for effect, you'll have to clean-up a bit later.)


Don better be careful with that. That lady can handle a pistol. Bet she
packs a punch with other weapons as well. She might just get a home
defibulator unit and give Don an extra jolt or two. VBG

Me, I just starve if my better half don't take care of me. She hates to see
me suffer so there is allways plenty of good food around. if you've seen a
pic of me, you could tell I don't suffer much.

Karl




Buerste November 19th 09 12:07 AM

OT I usually lose but I always enjoy it
 

"Karl Townsend" wrote in message
anews.com...

"Buerste" wrote in message
...

"Don Foreman" wrote in message
...
Mary is going to have lunch with her friend Jan tomorrow so I was
teasing her about her once again going out with her phancy phriends
for a posh lunch while leaving me to fend for myself. She said,
"there's a crust of stale bread for you on the counter."

"Yeah, I saw that. You sliced it on the bias in both directions;
what was once a loaf now looks like a wedge."

"My slices today were just fine."

"I'll bet. Good thing you don't do circumcisions! Your victim would
be peeing on the leg of the hapless gent next to him."

"I see nothing bad in that if they're democrats!"


Time to take lunch into you own hands! Just how many pots, pans,
spatulas and mixing bowls can you leave dirty in the sink and on the
counter? (Just for effect, you'll have to clean-up a bit later.)


Don better be careful with that. That lady can handle a pistol. Bet she
packs a punch with other weapons as well. She might just get a home
defibulator unit and give Don an extra jolt or two. VBG

Me, I just starve if my better half don't take care of me. She hates to
see me suffer so there is allways plenty of good food around. if you've
seen a pic of me, you could tell I don't suffer much.

Karl




I just hope somebody else will try it, I sure won't!



Buerste November 19th 09 08:54 AM

OT I usually lose but I always enjoy it
 

"Don Foreman" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 18 Nov 2009 19:07:54 -0500, "Buerste"
wrote:


"Karl Townsend" wrote in message
ctanews.com...

"Buerste" wrote in message
...

"Don Foreman" wrote in message
...
Mary is going to have lunch with her friend Jan tomorrow so I was
teasing her about her once again going out with her phancy phriends
for a posh lunch while leaving me to fend for myself. She said,
"there's a crust of stale bread for you on the counter."

"Yeah, I saw that. You sliced it on the bias in both directions;
what was once a loaf now looks like a wedge."

"My slices today were just fine."

"I'll bet. Good thing you don't do circumcisions! Your victim would
be peeing on the leg of the hapless gent next to him."

"I see nothing bad in that if they're democrats!"


Time to take lunch into you own hands! Just how many pots, pans,
spatulas and mixing bowls can you leave dirty in the sink and on the
counter? (Just for effect, you'll have to clean-up a bit later.)

Don better be careful with that. That lady can handle a pistol. Bet she
packs a punch with other weapons as well. She might just get a home
defibulator unit and give Don an extra jolt or two. VBG

Me, I just starve if my better half don't take care of me. She hates to
see me suffer so there is allways plenty of good food around. if you've
seen a pic of me, you could tell I don't suffer much.

Karl




I just hope somebody else will try it, I sure won't!


C'mon, you guys! We're very gentle and neighborly folks, we make good
coffee and there are usually good cookies at hand.

Kids, dogs and some cats seem to have uncanny instincts. They seem to
like us.


I found a secret, I find that if I buy a very large quantity of bananas,
they get turned into banana nut bread and cake. It's MAGIC!




Wes[_2_] November 21st 09 09:51 PM

OT I usually lose but I always enjoy it
 
Don Foreman wrote:

"I'll bet. Good thing you don't do circumcisions! Your victim would
be peeing on the leg of the hapless gent next to him."

"I see nothing bad in that if they're democrats!"



I like your Mary she has a sense of humor.

Wes

jeff_wisnia December 1st 09 05:39 PM

OT I usually lose but I always enjoy it
 
Don Foreman wrote:

Mary is going to have lunch with her friend Jan tomorrow so I was
teasing her about her once again going out with her phancy phriends
for a posh lunch while leaving me to fend for myself. She said,
"there's a crust of stale bread for you on the counter."

"Yeah, I saw that. You sliced it on the bias in both directions;
what was once a loaf now looks like a wedge."

"My slices today were just fine."

"I'll bet. Good thing you don't do circumcisions! Your victim would
be peeing on the leg of the hapless gent next to him."

"I see nothing bad in that if they're democrats!"


Your lovely Mary might enjoy hearing about two signs I've seen in gent's
rooms.

1. Over a urinal, "The future of the human race is in your hands."

2. In a small restroom having only a sink and toilet, with a mirrored
wall above both, "Objects in mirror may be smaller than they look."

Jeff

--
Jeffry Wisnia
(W1BSV + Brass Rat '57 EE)
The speed of light is 1.8*10e12 furlongs per fortnight.

Rich Grise December 2nd 09 12:10 AM

OT I usually lose but I always enjoy it
 
On Tue, 01 Dec 2009 12:39:41 -0500, jeff_wisnia wrote:
Don Foreman wrote:

Mary is going to have lunch with her friend Jan tomorrow so I was
teasing her about her once again going out with her phancy phriends for
a posh lunch while leaving me to fend for myself. She said, "there's
a crust of stale bread for you on the counter."

"Yeah, I saw that. You sliced it on the bias in both directions; what
was once a loaf now looks like a wedge."

"My slices today were just fine."

"I'll bet. Good thing you don't do circumcisions! Your victim would
be peeing on the leg of the hapless gent next to him."

"I see nothing bad in that if they're democrats!"

Your lovely Mary might enjoy hearing about two signs I've seen in gent's
rooms.

1. Over a urinal, "The future of the human race is in your hands."

2. In a small restroom having only a sink and toilet, with a mirrored wall
above both, "Objects in mirror may be smaller than they look."

Graffito: "Why are you looking up here? The joke is in your hands."

A real product:
http://www.urinalfly.com/

Cheers!
Rich


Larry Jaques December 2nd 09 06:38 AM

OT I usually lose but I always enjoy it
 
On Tue, 01 Dec 2009 12:39:41 -0500, the infamous jeff_wisnia
scrawled the following:

Don Foreman wrote:

Mary is going to have lunch with her friend Jan tomorrow so I was
teasing her about her once again going out with her phancy phriends
for a posh lunch while leaving me to fend for myself. She said,
"there's a crust of stale bread for you on the counter."

"Yeah, I saw that. You sliced it on the bias in both directions;
what was once a loaf now looks like a wedge."

"My slices today were just fine."

"I'll bet. Good thing you don't do circumcisions! Your victim would
be peeing on the leg of the hapless gent next to him."

"I see nothing bad in that if they're democrats!"


Your lovely Mary might enjoy hearing about two signs I've seen in gent's
rooms.

1. Over a urinal, "The future of the human race is in your hands."

2. In a small restroom having only a sink and toilet, with a mirrored
wall above both, "Objects in mirror may be smaller than they look."


My favorite, when taking a leak in a Yuma, AZ gas station on my way
back to school in Phoenix: CAUTION TRUCKERS: Do not throw matchsticks
in the toilets. The crabs might learn how to polevault!

--
Some days, it's not even worth chewing through the restraints.

Rich Grise December 2nd 09 07:53 PM

OT I usually lose but I always enjoy it
 
On Tue, 01 Dec 2009 22:38:42 -0800, Larry Jaques wrote:
On Tue, 01 Dec 2009 12:39:41 -0500, the infamous jeff_wisnia
Don Foreman wrote:

Mary is going to have lunch with her friend Jan tomorrow so I was
teasing her about her once again going out with her phancy phriends
for a posh lunch while leaving me to fend for myself. She said,
"there's a crust of stale bread for you on the counter."

"Yeah, I saw that. You sliced it on the bias in both directions; what
was once a loaf now looks like a wedge."

"My slices today were just fine."

"I'll bet. Good thing you don't do circumcisions! Your victim would
be peeing on the leg of the hapless gent next to him."

"I see nothing bad in that if they're democrats!"

Your lovely Mary might enjoy hearing about two signs I've seen in gent's
rooms.

1. Over a urinal, "The future of the human race is in your hands."

2. In a small restroom having only a sink and toilet, with a mirrored
wall above both, "Objects in mirror may be smaller than they look."


My favorite, when taking a leak in a Yuma, AZ gas station on my way back
to school in Phoenix: CAUTION TRUCKERS: Do not throw matchsticks in the
toilets. The crabs might learn how to polevault!


"Please do not throw butts in the urinal. It makes them soggy and hard to
relight."

;-)




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