DIYbanter - H1N1 Pandemic

On Sat, 13 Jun 2009 00:44:38 -0500, the infamous Don Foreman
scrawled the following:

On Fri, 12 Jun 2009 16:10:01 -0700, "Bay Area Holdout"
wrote:

"Mark F" wrote in message
...
Cliff wrote:
http://www.forbes.com/2009/06/11/swi...swine-flu.html
[
What The H1N1 Pandemic Means
Rebecca Ruiz, 06.11.09, 01:15 PM EDT The swine flu is now an official
pandemic, but that doesn't mean you should
panic.

After six weeks of closely watching the spread of H1N1 swine influenza
across
the globe, the World Health Organization (WHO) today declared the
outbreak an
official pandemic, raising the threat alert from 5 to 6, its highest
level. ...
]
They're also noting that people over 60 don't seem to suffer as much as
younger folks, likely because we've had a similar strain when we were
younger, and have some immunity.

So take a lesson from old people!

1) Watch MATLOCK
2) Go to bed early
3) Get up very early in the morning
4) Eat dinner at 4 pm
5) Complain about how the kids and grandkids never call or visit

How old is old? I'm 67 and I don't do any of those things.

This hit my email box yesterday and is timely, y'old farts.
--snip--
THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!

We Must Stop This Immediately !

Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper . Groceries are
heavier .

And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner
and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young
ones..
They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they
just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent
message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip
reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the
other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran
into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she
didn't even recognize me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this
morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection. Well, REALLY
NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking
life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them.
All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I
see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would
they suddenly start labelling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do
they think no one notices? The people who make bathroom scales are
pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number
I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much!
Just who do these people think they're fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on --
but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed
the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a
number in there!

All I can do is pass along this warning: WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!

Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to
suffer these awful indignities.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN
GET TIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!

PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something
has happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they once
were.
--snip--

--
The doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect
can only advise his client to plant vines.
--FLW