OT - Economics Explained for Wingers.
 

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and eradicates you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws
the milk away...

CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four
cows.
Later, you hire a well paid consultant to analyse why the cow has
dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using
letters
of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute
a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get
all
four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an
intermediary to
a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder
who sells the
rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option
on one more.
The public then buys your bull.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary
cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and
market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You genetically re-engineer them so they live for 1000 years, only
eat once a month,
and milk themselves by hand.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch instead.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
productivity.
You arrest and jail the newsman who reported the situation for
treason against the state.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade
your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are part of a democracy
now ...



and finally ...

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows
The one on the left looks very attractive …