Metalworking (rec.crafts.metalworking) Discuss various aspects of working with metal, such as machining, welding, metal joining, screwing, casting, hardening/tempering, blacksmithing/forging, spinning and hammer work, sheet metal work.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1   Report Post  
Posted to alt.machines.cnc,misc.survivalism,rec.crafts.metalworking
Cliff
 
Posts: n/a
Default OT - Montana Cowboy

[
An eastern Montana cowboy was tending his herd in a remote pasture
when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban
sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I
tell
you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you
give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
connects it to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the
Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to
get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA
satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has
been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database
through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his
hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the
cowboy
and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says
the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and
looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk o f his car.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you
exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay,
why not?"
"You're a consultant for the government." says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required" answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a
question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my
business........
Now give me back my dog."

]
  #2   Report Post  
Posted to alt.machines.cnc,misc.survivalism,rec.crafts.metalworking
SteveF
 
Posts: n/a
Default OT - Montana Cowboy


"Cliff" wrote in message
...
[
An eastern Montana cowboy was tending his herd in a remote pasture
when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban
sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I
tell
you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you
give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
connects it to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the
Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to
get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA
satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has
been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database
through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his
hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the
cowboy
and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says
the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and
looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk o f his car.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you
exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay,
why not?"
"You're a consultant for the government." says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required" answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a
question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my
business........
Now give me back my dog."

]



I don't care who you are - that there is a funny joke!

Larry



Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules

Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Wood Supply in Missoula or Kalispell, Montana??? rich Woodworking 3 December 30th 05 03:20 AM
To Cowboy: Re Torx Screw Size For Norelco Razor (my previous post) Robert11 Home Repair 4 June 28th 05 01:09 AM
Yeehaw! Ridem cowboy -small earthquake Gunner Metalworking 24 January 8th 05 11:53 PM
Conservatory Cowboy supplier Bruce Ella UK diy 2 June 10th 04 04:39 PM
Cowboy wiring - grumble, grumble, grumble. Martin UK diy 16 March 4th 04 02:41 PM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 04:08 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2023, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2004-2023 DIYbanter.
The comments are property of their posters.
 

About Us

"It's about DIY & home improvement"