DIYbanter

DIYbanter (https://www.diybanter.com/)
-   Metalworking (https://www.diybanter.com/metalworking/)
-   -   OT - Church for Gunner .... (https://www.diybanter.com/metalworking/154019-ot-church-gunner.html)

Cliff April 19th 06 11:33 AM

OT - Church for Gunner ....
 
[
REDNECK CHURCH

1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier
because none of the members knows how to play one.

2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were
bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five
guys and two women stand up.

4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if …
A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because
"It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of" (Love it!)

6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church
directory.

8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if .
The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.

10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's
Barbecue.

11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.

12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.

13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church If ...
The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
"Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.

16. You know You're in a Redneck Church if .
The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear".

God Bless and don't fergit ta say yer prayers
]

Andrew VK3BFA April 20th 06 07:08 AM

OT - Church for Gunner ....
 

Cliff wrote:
[
REDNECK CHURCH


Cliff,
if you substituted "negro" or "jew" for "redneck" in that post,
would it be seen to be grossly offensive?.

Posting off colour humour about political opponents is not debate - its
bigotry. And you lose any semblance of credibility by doing so. If you
run rabid scripts, then no one will bother to sift through the rubbish
to find the germ of truth. You will be dismissed to the kill file as an
extremist nutter.

You do your cause a disservice by posting such rubbish - how are your
"arguments" any diiferent from the kooky right wing nutters?

No on is ever going to change their mind (or their vote) by being
ridiculed and mocked.

Now, more than ever, we need rational debate between left and right to
try and work our way through the mess the world is in - Mr Bush is
making noises about nuking the Iranians - thats truly nutty and has the
potential to destroy us all. So drop the redneck jokes and try and be a
bit more helpful and constructive.

Andrew VK3BFA.


Andrew VK3BFA April 20th 06 07:49 AM

OT - Church for Gunner ....
 

Cliff wrote:
[
REDNECK CHURCH



Cliff,
if you substituted "negro" or "jew" for "redneck" in that post,
would it be seen to be grossly offensive?.

Posting off colour humour about political opponents is not debate - its
bigotry. And you lose any semblance of credibility by doing so. If you
run rabid scripts, then no one will bother to sift through the rubbish
to find the germ of truth. You will be dismissed to the kill file as an
extremist nutter.

You do your cause a disservice by posting such rubbish - how are your
"arguments" any diiferent from the kooky right wing nutters?

No on is ever going to change their mind (or their vote) by being
ridiculed and mocked.

Now, more than ever, we need rational debate between left and right to
try and work our way through the mess the world is in - Mr Bush is
making noises about nuking the Iranians - thats truly nutty and has the
potential to destroy us all. So drop the redneck jokes and try and be a
bit more helpful and constructive.

Andrew VK3BFA.

PS - sorry to be OT people, its just that sometimes, and more often of
late, I despair of our worlds collective future......


Cliff April 20th 06 08:30 AM

OT - Church for Gunner ....
 
On 19 Apr 2006 23:08:22 -0700, "Andrew VK3BFA" wrote:

Now, more than ever, we need rational debate between left and right to
try and work our way through the mess the world is in - Mr Bush is
making noises about nuking the Iranians - thats truly nutty and has the
potential to destroy us all.


Yep, and he already murdered 100,000++ in Iraq & Afghanistan with his
neocon sock puppet lies plus created much more ruin, now and in the
near future.

So drop the redneck jokes and try and be a
bit more helpful and constructive.


Winger humor seems quite on target. Sad but funny in their
own little twisted confused ways.
Take their toys away. Educate them.
--
Cliff

ej April 22nd 06 09:32 PM

OT - Church for Gunner ....
 
I read this group and sometimes am amazed: someone posts a joke and all
this political debate nonsense - "left, right", "causes", "potential
to destroy us all"... It's really sad if the p.c. infects the gray
matter to such a degree. EJ


Gus April 23rd 06 12:38 AM

OT - Church for Gunner ....
 

ej wrote:
I read this group and sometimes am amazed: someone posts a joke and all
this political debate nonsense - "left, right", "causes", "potential
to destroy us all"... It's really sad if the p.c. infects the gray
matter to such a degree. EJ


Amen, brutha. I enjoyed the joke.
GW


Stuart Grey April 23rd 06 04:55 AM

OT - Church for Gunner ....
 
Andrew VK3BFA wrote:
Cliff wrote:

[
REDNECK CHURCH



Cliff,
if you substituted "negro" or "jew" for "redneck" in that post,
would it be seen to be grossly offensive?.

Posting off colour humour about political opponents is not debate - its
bigotry. And you lose any semblance of credibility by doing so. If you
run rabid scripts, then no one will bother to sift through the rubbish
to find the germ of truth. You will be dismissed to the kill file as an
extremist nutter.


No one has ever accused Cliff of engaging in debate. Cliff never seeks
to find the common ground of objective facts, never uses logic; his
"subjective interpretations" are completely motivated by what the
uber-Communist tell him is his conclusion.

He uses the techniques that he, himself, as found persuasive: ridicule,
peer pressure and insults.

In other words, he is not unlike any other communist or communist stooge
who posts to the usenet.

You do your cause a disservice by posting such rubbish - how are your
"arguments" any diiferent from the kooky right wing nutters?

No on is ever going to change their mind (or their vote) by being
ridiculed and mocked.

Now, more than ever, we need rational debate between left and right to
try and work our way through the mess the world is in - Mr Bush is
making noises about nuking the Iranians - thats truly nutty and has the
potential to destroy us all. So drop the redneck jokes and try and be a
bit more helpful and constructive.

Andrew VK3BFA.


Don Foreman April 23rd 06 05:01 AM

OT - Church for Gunner ....
 
On 19 Apr 2006 23:49:28 -0700, "Andrew VK3BFA"
wrote:


Cliff wrote:
[
REDNECK CHURCH



Cliff,
if you substituted "negro" or "jew" for "redneck" in that post,
would it be seen to be grossly offensive?.

Posting off colour humour about political opponents is not debate - its
bigotry. And you lose any semblance of credibility by doing so. If you
run rabid scripts, then no one will bother to sift through the rubbish
to find the germ of truth. You will be dismissed to the kill file as an
extremist nutter.

You do your cause a disservice by posting such rubbish - how are your
"arguments" any diiferent from the kooky right wing nutters?

No on is ever going to change their mind (or their vote) by being
ridiculed and mocked.

Now, more than ever, we need rational debate between left and right to
try and work our way through the mess the world is in - Mr Bush is
making noises about nuking the Iranians - thats truly nutty and has the
potential to destroy us all. So drop the redneck jokes and try and be a
bit more helpful and constructive.

Andrew VK3BFA.

PS - sorry to be OT people, its just that sometimes, and more often of
late, I despair of our worlds collective future......


A fellow from up north had an opportunity to go duck hunting with his
country cousin Bubba ... and loved it! He was particularly
impressed with how Gitem the dog performed, sitting quietly untill
a duck was dropped, then jumping into the cold water, swimming out and
retrieving the duck unruffled.

He decided on the spot that he wanted such a dog. Bubba said to be
sure and check the pup to see if it would be suitable for duck
hunting. "How might I do that, Bubba?"

"Stick yer finger in its butt. It has to be a tight fit, 'cuz if'n
it ain't the dog'll take on water and sink."

"Oh...yes, I see." So he visited the dog breeder at home, announcing
that he wanted a dog suitable for duck hunting. The breeder said
"This little Lab pup will make a fine hunting dog." "Hm let me check"
-- and so he did. "No, this dog won't do." The dog breeder looked
in belwielderment, said "why?" The guy explained.

"Yeah, right, well, hang on a minute." The breeder grabbed the pup's
balls and gave them a twist. "Check him now; I had him set for
dove....."


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 06:15 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004 - 2014 DIYbanter