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Old June 13th 21, 01:18 AM posted to alt.home.repair
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On Sat, 12 Jun 2021 16:21:51 -0400, micky
wrote:

OT My neighbors say their daughter is getting married in October. They
are all very conservative, especially the daughter and her fiance. And
they've been following very carefully the recount in Arizona. And they
are Catholic and they've arranged for the marriage to be peformed by
Father Ninja. They say he's best, strongest priest anyone can find,
and they'll really be married after he does it.

My neighbors don't think Father Ninja is a real priest and they've asked
my advice, and I'm asking you, What should I tell them?


What difference does it make? If God is happy with Father Ninja and
they bought a marriage permit from the local government, pot's right.
The only legal issue is the happy couple signing the marriage license
and maybe having it notarized (Florida law YMMV somewhere else).
The ceremony is just hocus pocus to keep the parents happy.


Did your health insurance pay for the sense of humour bypass ?


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Old June 13th 21, 02:35 AM posted to alt.home.repair
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Default OT need advice for my neighbor

On Saturday, June 12, 2021 at 7:57:24 PM UTC-4, wrote:
On Sat, 12 Jun 2021 16:21:51 -0400, micky
wrote:
OT My neighbors say their daughter is getting married in October. They
are all very conservative, especially the daughter and her fiance. And
they've been following very carefully the recount in Arizona. And they
are Catholic and they've arranged for the marriage to be peformed by
Father Ninja. They say he's best, strongest priest anyone can find,
and they'll really be married after he does it.

My neighbors don't think Father Ninja is a real priest and they've asked
my advice, and I'm asking you, What should I tell them?

What difference does it make? If God is happy with Father Ninja and
they bought a marriage permit from the local government, pot's right.
The only legal issue is the happy couple signing the marriage license
and maybe having it notarized (Florida law YMMV somewhere else).
The ceremony is just hocus pocus to keep the parents happy.


Whoosh on most your response and WTF on your last sentence.
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Old June 14th 21, 10:08 AM posted to alt.home.repair
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Default OT need advice for my neighbor

On Monday, June 14, 2021 at 12:11:01 AM UTC-4, Marilyn Manson wrote:

I just went to a wedding on Friday night. The bride and groom paid
for almost everything: The hamburgers, the hot dogs and the fee
to the county for the park lodge. I say "almost everything" because
the guests brought their own drinks and a dish for the buffet line.
Man, there was a lot of really good food!


That's how my wedding was, except we had a whole roast pig (the
wedding gift from the groom's brothers) instead of burgers and dogs.
We provided beer and non-alcoholic beverages. Everybody brought
a side dish. A big bowl of fresh strawberries instead of wedding cake.

Cindy Hamilton
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Old June 14th 21, 01:53 PM posted to alt.home.repair
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Default OT need advice for my neighbor

On Mon, 14 Jun 2021 02:08:53 -0700 (PDT), "
wrote:

On Monday, June 14, 2021 at 12:11:01 AM UTC-4, Marilyn Manson wrote:

I just went to a wedding on Friday night. The bride and groom paid
for almost everything: The hamburgers, the hot dogs and the fee
to the county for the park lodge. I say "almost everything" because
the guests brought their own drinks and a dish for the buffet line.
Man, there was a lot of really good food!


That's how my wedding was, except we had a whole roast pig (the
wedding gift from the groom's brothers) instead of burgers and dogs.
We provided beer and non-alcoholic beverages. Everybody brought
a side dish. A big bowl of fresh strawberries instead of wedding cake.

Cindy Hamilton


I married my wife a couple of times. The ceremony was at the beach
with the family. The guys at work chipped in and bought Sonny's BBQ
and a keg of beer. It was boat in only. No legal papers changed hands
so it was just that, a big show for all of the parents.
Later we bought a permit and got it notarized down in the Keys.
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Old June 14th 21, 02:41 PM posted to alt.home.repair
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Default OT need advice for my neighbor

On Monday, June 14, 2021 at 8:53:33 AM UTC-4, wrote:
On Mon, 14 Jun 2021 02:08:53 -0700 (PDT), "
wrote:

On Monday, June 14, 2021 at 12:11:01 AM UTC-4, Marilyn Manson wrote:

I just went to a wedding on Friday night. The bride and groom paid
for almost everything: The hamburgers, the hot dogs and the fee
to the county for the park lodge. I say "almost everything" because
the guests brought their own drinks and a dish for the buffet line.
Man, there was a lot of really good food!


That's how my wedding was, except we had a whole roast pig (the
wedding gift from the groom's brothers) instead of burgers and dogs.
We provided beer and non-alcoholic beverages. Everybody brought
a side dish. A big bowl of fresh strawberries instead of wedding cake.

Cindy Hamilton

I married my wife a couple of times. The ceremony was at the beach
with the family. The guys at work chipped in and bought Sonny's BBQ
and a keg of beer. It was boat in only. No legal papers changed hands
so it was just that, a big show for all of the parents.
Later we bought a permit and got it notarized down in the Keys.


That sounds nice.

Although there are exceptions to every rule, it seems like it's the first-time
brides who were mainly raised on Disney princess cartoons who dream
of the "perfect" wedding.

Even my first wedding was simple and relatively inexpensive. I made
my own dress both times.

Cindy Hamilton


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Old June 14th 21, 05:44 PM posted to alt.home.repair
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Default OT need advice for my neighbor

On 6/12/2021 4:55 PM, Ralph Mowery wrote:
In article , NONONOmisc07
@fmguy.com says...

OT My neighbors say their daughter is getting married in October. They
are all very conservative, especially the daughter and her fiance. And
they've been following very carefully the recount in Arizona. And they
are Catholic and they've arranged for the marriage to be peformed by
Father Ninja. They say he's best, strongest priest anyone can find,
and they'll really be married after he does it.

My neighbors don't think Father Ninja is a real priest and they've asked
my advice, and I'm asking you, What should I tell them?



What makes a priest anyway ? What is a STRONG priest ? I could start a
church of Ralph and make myself a priest in that church. There may be
a way to check if he has the offical credentials from the town that
allows him to sign the paperwork that states the couple are married by
law.

The wife an I got married over 40 years ago by some woman in a
government office. Must have taken as that was over 40 years ago and
still are.

If I really wanted to make sure, I would just pick up the phone and call
the Pope at the Vadican and ask him about the man :-)


Ordination used to be free here but now it is $49.

https://www.spaghettimonster.org/
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Old June 14th 21, 07:31 PM posted to alt.home.repair
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Default OT need advice for my neighbor

On Mon, 14 Jun 2021 13:03:49 -0400, Frank "frank wrote:

On 6/14/2021 8:53 AM, wrote:
On Mon, 14 Jun 2021 02:08:53 -0700 (PDT), "
wrote:

On Monday, June 14, 2021 at 12:11:01 AM UTC-4, Marilyn Manson wrote:

I just went to a wedding on Friday night. The bride and groom paid
for almost everything: The hamburgers, the hot dogs and the fee
to the county for the park lodge. I say "almost everything" because
the guests brought their own drinks and a dish for the buffet line.
Man, there was a lot of really good food!

That's how my wedding was, except we had a whole roast pig (the
wedding gift from the groom's brothers) instead of burgers and dogs.
We provided beer and non-alcoholic beverages. Everybody brought
a side dish. A big bowl of fresh strawberries instead of wedding cake.

Cindy Hamilton


I married my wife a couple of times. The ceremony was at the beach
with the family. The guys at work chipped in and bought Sonny's BBQ
and a keg of beer. It was boat in only. No legal papers changed hands
so it was just that, a big show for all of the parents.
Later we bought a permit and got it notarized down in the Keys.


I just heard a good one about a guy going to Florida to get married and
the guys bought him a wedding bathing suit.

He wore it and jumped into the surf and all the stitches in the bathing
suit dissolved.


Let the honeymoon begin.
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Old June 14th 21, 08:17 PM posted to alt.home.repair
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Default OT need advice for my neighbor

On Mon, 14 Jun 2021 08:04:16 -0700 (PDT), Marilyn Manson
wrote:

I usually don't give wedding gifts. I ask the couple what their favorite charity
or cause is and I make a donation in their name. I do the same in lieu of funeral
flowers, although most families already request that these days.


There was a Seinfeld episode about making a donation in lieu of giving an
actual gift. George Costanza was not amused when it happened to him. I
don't think it's a bad idea, though.

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Old June 14th 21, 09:24 PM posted to alt.home.repair
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Default OT need advice for my neighbor

On Monday, June 14, 2021 at 3:17:29 PM UTC-4, Jim Joyce wrote:
On Mon, 14 Jun 2021 08:04:16 -0700 (PDT), Marilyn Manson
wrote:

I usually don't give wedding gifts. I ask the couple what their favorite charity
or cause is and I make a donation in their name. I do the same in lieu of funeral
flowers, although most families already request that these days.

There was a Seinfeld episode about making a donation in lieu of giving an
actual gift. George Costanza was not amused when it happened to him. I
don't think it's a bad idea, though.


Yeah, but he was amused later in the same episode...

George: Hey, check this out. I gotta give out Christmas presents to everyone
down at Kruger, so I'm pulling a Whatley. (Gives a Christmas card to Jerry)

Jerry: (Reading it) "A donation has been made in your name to the
Human Fund." - What is that?

George: (With pride) Made it up.

Jerry: (Continuing reading) "The Human Fund. Money for people."

George: What do you think?

Jerry: It has a certain understated stupidity.

But, later, he redeems himself. :-)

GEORGE: I think I could be a philanthropist. A kick ass philanthropist!
I would have all this money, and people would love me. Then they
would come to me... and beg! And if I felt like it, I would help them
out. And then they would owe me big time! (Thinking to himself)
.... First thing I'm gonna need is a driver...



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