Home is Where the Fart Is
 

Have you ever thought of all the farts that you and other members of
your family have deposited in your home. The worst part is that all
those farts are still in your home. They're stuck to your walls, your
furniture, floors, ceilings, and even inside your ductwork. Those farts
are in your home, forever, unless you completely and thoroughly defart
your home. This means an extreme cleaning process, including
disassembling all your ductwork and and doing a complete cleaning of
each and every piece.

Fart removal requires more than simply washing with water and some pine
cleaner. You need the following formula.

Mix together these items in a five gallon pail.
1 gallon vinegar
2 lbs baking soda
1 gallon of bleach
1 gallon of ammonia
1/2 cup salt
8 ounces of Muriatic Acid

Blend these ingredients, then fill the rest of the bucket with water.

Wear rubber gloves, and wash every inch in your home, including all
furnishings. Keep in mind, to clean all small cracks and corners, since
farts are adhering to the small openings in your home. Be sure to spray
your cleaning solution into all those oepnings with a pump sprayer.

This process should be repeated every 6 months or less, if you or others
in your home fart more than normal.

Once completed, sit back and enjoy your fart free home!