DIYbanter

DIYbanter (https://www.diybanter.com/)
-   Home Repair (https://www.diybanter.com/home-repair/)
-   -   OT - dead duck (https://www.diybanter.com/home-repair/583994-ot-dead-duck.html)

Frank[_24_] January 5th 17 02:26 PM

OT - dead duck
 

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid
her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to
the birds chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, €œIm
sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.€
The distressed woman wailed, €œAre you sure?€
€œYes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,€ replied the vet..
€œHow can you be so sure?€ she protested. €œI mean you havent done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.€
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a
few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the ducks owner
looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front
paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.
He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few
minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and
also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on
its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, €œIm sorry, but as I said, this is
most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.€
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a
bill, which he handed to the woman..
The ducks owner, still in shock, took the bill. €œ$550.00!€ she cried,
€œ$550.00 just to tell me my duck is dead!€
The vet shrugged, €œIm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the
bill would have been $5.00, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan,
its now $550.00€OT - dead duck

Uncle Monster[_2_] January 5th 17 08:27 PM

OT - dead duck
 
On Thursday, January 5, 2017 at 8:26:38 AM UTC-6, Frank wrote:
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid
her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to
the birds chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, €œIm
sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.€
The distressed woman wailed, €œAre you sure?€
€œYes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,€ replied the vet..
€œHow can you be so sure?€ she protested. €œI mean you havent done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.€
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a
few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the ducks owner
looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front
paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.
He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few
minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and
also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on
its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, €œIm sorry, but as I said, this is
most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.€
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a
bill, which he handed to the woman..
The ducks owner, still in shock, took the bill. €œ$550.00!€ she cried,
€œ$550.00 just to tell me my duck is dead!€
The vet shrugged, €œIm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the
bill would have been $5.00, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan,
its now $550.00€OT - dead duck


I am obliged to share this with friends who have pets. ใƒฝ(€ข€ฟ€ข)ใƒŽ

[8~{} Uncle Live Monster

Frank[_24_] January 5th 17 11:18 PM

OT - dead duck
 
On 1/5/2017 3:27 PM, Uncle Monster wrote:
On Thursday, January 5, 2017 at 8:26:38 AM UTC-6, Frank wrote:
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid
her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to
the birds chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, €œIm
sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.€
The distressed woman wailed, €œAre you sure?€
€œYes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,€ replied the vet..
€œHow can you be so sure?€ she protested. €œI mean you havent done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.€
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a
few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the ducks owner
looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front
paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.
He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few
minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and
also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on
its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, €œIm sorry, but as I said, this is
most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.€
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a
bill, which he handed to the woman..
The ducks owner, still in shock, took the bill. €œ$550.00!€ she cried,
€œ$550.00 just to tell me my duck is dead!€
The vet shrugged, €œIm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the
bill would have been $5.00, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan,
its now $550.00€OT - dead duck


I am obliged to share this with friends who have pets. ใƒฝ(€ข€ฟ€ข)ใƒŽ

[8~{} Uncle Live Monster


Pets can cost you a bundle in health care expenses. Friend just spent
$2,400 on one of his dogs which included a Cat Scan. Dog had a blockage
but it cleared itself without intervention.

VinnyB[_2_] January 6th 17 04:24 PM

OT - dead duck
 
On Thu, 5 Jan 2017 18:18:23 -0500, Frank "frank wrote in



Pets can cost you a bundle in health care expenses. Friend just spent
$2,400 on one of his dogs which included a Cat Scan. Dog had a blockage
but it cleared itself without intervention.


So the $2,400 was a waste of $$$. I guess when a dog is the only
friend you have, it's worth it. I prefer younger women myself.

[email protected] January 6th 17 05:09 PM

OT - dead duck
 
On Fri, 06 Jan 2017 10:24:56 -0600, VinnyB
wrote:

So the $2,400 was a waste of $$$. I guess when a dog is the only
friend you have, it's worth it. I prefer younger women myself.


My wife won't let me have young women so I have a dog. ;-)

Uncle Monster[_2_] January 6th 17 07:33 PM

OT - dead duck
 
On Friday, January 6, 2017 at 11:09:25 AM UTC-6, wrote:
On Fri, 06 Jan 2017 10:24:56 -0600, VinnyB
wrote:

So the $2,400 was a waste of $$$. I guess when a dog is the only
friend you have, it's worth it. I prefer younger women myself.


My wife won't let me have young women so I have a dog. ;-)


So "Screw the pooch" applies? Some wives let their husbands get away with anything. ยฏ\_(ใƒ„)_/ยฏ

Sorry, the Devil made me post it. ใƒฝ(ใƒ…)ใƒŽ

[8~{} Uncle Smartass Monster

Tekkieฎ January 6th 17 07:58 PM

OT - dead duck
 
posted for all of us...



On Fri, 06 Jan 2017 10:24:56 -0600, VinnyB
wrote:

So the $2,400 was a waste of $$$. I guess when a dog is the only
friend you have, it's worth it. I prefer younger women myself.


My wife won't let me have young women so I have a dog. ;-)


Yeah, I have the same situation, although $2400 would buy a lot of "sex
workers". Have to decide your f level: skank, pickup, milf, trophy. Nothing
in life is free.

--
Tekkie

Oren[_2_] January 6th 17 09:34 PM

OT - dead duck
 
On Fri, 06 Jan 2017 12:09:00 -0500, wrote:

On Fri, 06 Jan 2017 10:24:56 -0600, VinnyB
wrote:

So the $2,400 was a waste of $$$. I guess when a dog is the only
friend you have, it's worth it. I prefer younger women myself.


My wife won't let me have young women so I have a dog. ;-)


Lorena Bobbit? Dogs are cheaper than medical expenses media
exposure...

Tekkieฎ January 6th 17 09:59 PM

OT - dead duck
 
Oren posted for all of us...



On Fri, 06 Jan 2017 12:09:00 -0500, wrote:

On Fri, 06 Jan 2017 10:24:56 -0600, VinnyB
wrote:

So the $2,400 was a waste of $$$. I guess when a dog is the only
friend you have, it's worth it. I prefer younger women myself.


My wife won't let me have young women so I have a dog. ;-)


Lorena Bobbit? Dogs are cheaper than medical expenses media
exposure...


That hurts thinking about it.

--
Tekkie


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 09:55 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ฉ2004 - 2014 DIYbanter