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Edmund J. Burke[_3_] July 30th 15 02:34 PM

DATING SITE WOES
 
No doubt many of you lonely guys have spent some time on dating web sites,
hoping to wean yerselves off yer palms. LOL
Here's a sample letter for those of you guys who are fed up which this ****.


Dear Scumbag Dating Site,

You ruined my life. I signed up with your service for a year. You
provided matches that weren't suitable. Two of them were men, both
married. Three of them were lesbians, one pregnant and one married
to another lesbian. One of them was four years old and still in
diapers (in her profile picture!), although she was female, and
presumably single. Geez, this is supposed to be a dating site, not
"To Catch A Predator". Then there was the, uh, something with a
profile picture of a whale, and another one with a profile picture
that resembled the USA Democratic Party mascot, a jackass.

My life took a turn for the better when I met a lady at church (not
through your site). We dated for a few months, and then we married.
I told your site to close my account *immediately* and not renew it.

Four months later you auto-renewed my membership and charged my
credit card. My wife opened the credit card bill! She was absolutely
furious and filed for divorce. The prenuptial agreement provided
that if I was caught cheating (and setting up a dating site account
is cheating under that agreement - something my lawyer, not hers,
added). As I am an investment banker with considerable assets, I
lost most of my savings and investments. Therefore, I am suing you
for $200 million dollars in actual damage, plus more for emotional
distress.

The size of my ass has been greatly appreciated.


NEMO July 30th 15 06:27 PM

DATING SITE WOES
 
On Thu, 30 Jul 2015 06:34:36 -0700, "Colon Edmud Jackass Burchese of
Ladyboise, Idaho" wrote:

No doubt many of you lonely guys have spent some time on dating web sites,
hoping to wean yerselves off yer palms. LOL
Here's a sample letter for those of you guys who are fed up which this ****.


Dear Scumbag Dating Site,

You ruined my life. I signed up with your service for a year. You
provided matches that weren't suitable. Two of them were men, both
married. Three of them were lesbians, one pregnant and one married
to another lesbian. One of them was four years old and still in
diapers (in her profile picture!), although she was female, and
presumably single. Geez, this is supposed to be a dating site, not
"To Catch A Predator". Then there was the, uh, something with a
profile picture of a whale, and another one with a profile picture
that resembled the USA Democratic Party mascot, a jackass.

My life took a turn for the better when I met a lady at church (not
through your site). We dated for a few months, and then we married.
I told your site to close my account *immediately* and not renew it.

Four months later you auto-renewed my membership and charged my
credit card. My wife opened the credit card bill! She was absolutely
furious and filed for divorce. The prenuptial agreement provided
that if I was caught cheating (and setting up a dating site account
is cheating under that agreement - something my lawyer, not hers,
added). As I am an investment banker with considerable assets, I
lost most of my savings and investments. Therefore, I am suing you
for $200 million dollars in actual damage, plus more for emotional
distress.


That's too bad, Coloon...you should have stuck with 'Pleasance'! LOLOK

David July 31st 15 12:02 AM

DATING SITE WOES
 
prolly where you got it


"Edmund J. Burke" wrote in message ...

No doubt many of you lonely guys have spent some time on dating web sites,
hoping to wean yerselves off yer palms. LOL
Here's a sample letter for those of you guys who are fed up which this ****.


Dear Scumbag Dating Site,

You ruined my life. I signed up with your service for a year. You
provided matches that weren't suitable. Two of them were men, both
married. Three of them were lesbians, one pregnant and one married
to another lesbian. One of them was four years old and still in
diapers (in her profile picture!), although she was female, and
presumably single. Geez, this is supposed to be a dating site, not
"To Catch A Predator". Then there was the, uh, something with a
profile picture of a whale, and another one with a profile picture
that resembled the USA Democratic Party mascot, a jackass.

My life took a turn for the better when I met a lady at church (not
through your site). We dated for a few months, and then we married.
I told your site to close my account *immediately* and not renew it.

Four months later you auto-renewed my membership and charged my
credit card. My wife opened the credit card bill! She was absolutely
furious and filed for divorce. The prenuptial agreement provided
that if I was caught cheating (and setting up a dating site account
is cheating under that agreement - something my lawyer, not hers,
added). As I am an investment banker with considerable assets, I
lost most of my savings and investments. Therefore, I am suing you
for $200 million dollars in actual damage, plus more for emotional
distress.

The size of my ass has been greatly appreciated.



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