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J Burns September 10th 14 01:54 AM

a rubber band for the quiet room
 
The quiet room in my house has only one seat. I find this discourages
idle chatter, which makes it an excellent place to ponder.

As I ponder, something inevitably occurs to me that I want to get on
paper right away. I keep perforated stationary in a holder beside the seat.

The holder is a spring-loaded wooden roller between two ceramic arms.
It's a classic design, possibly dating back to Seth Wheeler's 1891
invention of perforated wrapping paper (patent # US465588 A).

For 35 years I've been plagued with an inconvenience: sometimes when I
tear off a piece of stationary, it continues to unwind all the way to
the floor.

Eureka! I looped a rubber band around the knob at one end of the
roller, ran it along the roller, and looped it around the knob at the
other end. Now friction keeps the stationary from unwrapping on its
own. I predict that my discovery will make it practical for millions of
Americans to begin using perforated stationary in their quiet rooms.
I'm going to buy stock in the companies that produce it.

Well, I'm off to my quiet room. I don't like to ponder in my computer
chair.

Guv Bob September 10th 14 03:32 AM

a rubber band for the quiet room
 
"J Burns" wrote in message ...
The quiet room in my house has only one seat. I find this discourages
idle chatter, which makes it an excellent place to ponder.

As I ponder, something inevitably occurs to me that I want to get on
paper right away. I keep perforated stationary in a holder beside the seat.

The holder is a spring-loaded wooden roller between two ceramic arms.
It's a classic design, possibly dating back to Seth Wheeler's 1891
invention of perforated wrapping paper (patent # US465588 A).

For 35 years I've been plagued with an inconvenience: sometimes when I
tear off a piece of stationary, it continues to unwind all the way to
the floor.

Eureka! I looped a rubber band around the knob at one end of the
roller, ran it along the roller, and looped it around the knob at the
other end. Now friction keeps the stationary from unwrapping on its
own. I predict that my discovery will make it practical for millions of
Americans to begin using perforated stationary in their quiet rooms.
I'm going to buy stock in the companies that produce it.

Well, I'm off to my quiet room. I don't like to ponder in my computer
chair.


Sounds brilliant, JB! Can you post a video on youtube, complete with sound?



nestork September 10th 14 04:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Burns (Post 3281893)
Eureka! I looped a rubber band around the knob at one end of the
roller, ran it along the roller, and looped it around the knob at the
other end. Now friction keeps the stationary from unwrapping on its
own.

Now, if you could do something similar with UNPERFORATED toilet paper, you'd really have something.

Tegger[_4_] September 10th 14 06:04 AM

a rubber band for the quiet room
 
J Burns wrote in :

Now friction keeps the stationary from unwrapping on its
own.




You found a way to keep your stationery stationary?

Stationery = paper
Stationary = motionless.
Different words.


--
Tegger

J Burns September 10th 14 09:08 AM

a rubber band for the quiet room
 
On 9/10/14, 1:04 AM, Tegger wrote:
J Burns wrote in :

Now friction keeps the stationary from unwrapping on its
own.




You found a way to keep your stationery stationary?

Stationery = paper
Stationary = motionless.
Different words.


I see you like to ponder, too. Before British homes had quiet rooms, a
shop that sold rolls of perforated paper was usually located outside the
gates of a university because so much pondering occurred within.
Medieval scholars, they called such a shopkeeper a stationarius and his
product stationary.

A Norman nobleman would call such a shop a stacion d'servise: i.e., a
place to have paper streamers applied to his lance, his horse, and his
helmet while he sat down to take a rest. They called the product
stationery, but they meant the kind that would unwind on its own.

Stormin Mormon[_10_] September 10th 14 11:58 AM

a rubber band for the quiet room
 
On 9/10/2014 1:04 AM, Tegger wrote:
J Burns wrote in :

Now friction keeps the stationary from unwrapping on its
own.




You found a way to keep your stationery stationary?

Stationery = paper
Stationary = motionless.
Different words.


We'll make a TV show about it, and it will
be station airy.

Sounds like a totally needed invention.
--
..
Christopher A. Young
Learn about Jesus
www.lds.org
..

J Burns September 11th 14 08:09 PM

a rubber band for the quiet room
 
On 9/10/14, 6:58 AM, Stormin Mormon wrote:
On 9/10/2014 1:04 AM, Tegger wrote:
J Burns wrote in :

Now friction keeps the stationary from unwrapping on its
own.




You found a way to keep your stationery stationary?

Stationery = paper
Stationary = motionless.
Different words.


We'll make a TV show about it, and it will
be station airy.

Sounds like a totally needed invention.


Seth Wheeler did it better in 1891. Self-adjusting brake. Pull out to
release it. Pull down to engage it. The patent solves the
over-or-under question. If purchasers were required to sign a user
agreement, that would end the controversy that has been the focus of the
world's attention for more than a century.

https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=patentimages.storage.googleapis.com/pdfs/US447419.pdf

Tegger[_4_] September 12th 14 12:46 AM

a rubber band for the quiet room
 
J Burns wrote in :

On 9/10/14, 1:04 AM, Tegger wrote:

Stationery = paper
Stationary = motionless.
Different words.


I see you like to ponder, too.





I do indeed.

I also like to take walks, so I wander while I ponder.




Before British homes had quiet rooms, a
shop that sold rolls of perforated paper was usually located outside the
gates of a university because so much pondering occurred within.
Medieval scholars,





I'll bet they also wandered as they pondered.




they called such a shopkeeper a stationarius and his
product stationary.





They called his product motionless? Well, I suppose that would make sense,
since stationery is stationary unless motivated by some external agent,
such as wind, or your dog.





A Norman nobleman would call such a shop a stacion d'servise: i.e., a
place to have paper streamers applied to his lance, his horse, and his
helmet while he sat down to take a rest. They called the product
stationery, but they meant the kind that would unwind on its own.





If it unwound on its own, then it would not be stationary.



--
Tegger

Tegger[_4_] September 12th 14 12:47 AM

a rubber band for the quiet room
 
Stormin Mormon wrote in news:T8WPv.128376$FY2.75441
@fx07.iad:


We'll make a TV show about it, and it will
be station airy.




When will it be on the air?



--
Tegger

J Burns September 12th 14 01:53 AM

a rubber band for the quiet room
 
On 9/11/14, 7:46 PM, Tegger wrote:

I also like to take walks, so I wander while I ponder.


So do bears. Some hikers wear bells on their clothing to avoid
encounters and carry pepper spray as a last resort.

I look for any sign that a bear has been wandering and pondering in the
area. If it contains berries and squirrel fur, that was a black bear.
If it contains bells and smells like pepper, that was a grizzly.

Tegger[_4_] September 12th 14 02:20 AM

a rubber band for the quiet room
 
J Burns wrote in :

On 9/11/14, 7:46 PM, Tegger wrote:

I also like to take walks, so I wander while I ponder.


So do bears. Some hikers wear bells on their clothing to avoid
encounters and carry pepper spray as a last resort.




I just carry hot-pepper sauce.

First I rip the bear to shreds with my bare hands (after which he becomes
stationary), then I roast the choicest bits and season with hot-pepper
sauce.

I recommend El Yucateco "Salsa Kutbil-ik de" Mayan-recipe hot sauce. It is
very good.



--
Tegger

J Burns September 12th 14 03:00 AM

a rubber band for the quiet room
 
On 9/11/14, 9:20 PM, Tegger wrote:



I just carry hot-pepper sauce.

First I rip the bear to shreds with my bare hands (after which he becomes
stationary), then I roast the choicest bits and season with hot-pepper
sauce.


Aren't you afraid he'll rip you to shreds with his bear hands?

I have a portable stationery shredder (which I use to shred my portable
stationary before somebody wanders off with it while I'm pondering).
Would that work?

Instead of shredding, did you ever try poached bear?


I recommend El Yucateco "Salsa Kutbil-ik de" Mayan-recipe hot sauce. It is
very good.

Red, green or brown: which kind? I want the one that tastes like Texas
Pete Hotter Hot Sauce.


Tegger[_4_] September 12th 14 08:26 AM

a rubber band for the quiet room
 
J Burns wrote in :

On 9/11/14, 9:20 PM, Tegger wrote:



I just carry hot-pepper sauce.

First I rip the bear to shreds with my bare hands (after which he
becomes stationary), then I roast the choicest bits and season with
hot-pepper sauce.


Aren't you afraid he'll rip you to shreds with his bear hands?




Just bearly.



I have a portable stationery shredder (which I use to shred my
portable stationary before somebody wanders off with it while I'm
pondering). Would that work?




If the bare will fit through the slot, yes.



Instead of shredding, did you ever try poached bear?




Pulled bear. It's like pulled pork, only more dangerous.




I recommend El Yucateco "Salsa Kutbil-ik de" Mayan-recipe hot sauce.
It is very good.

Red, green or brown: which kind?




The brown kind.



I want the one that tastes like
Texas Pete Hotter Hot Sauce.



That's probably the red kind; it's not hot enough, so I go through too much
of it.


--
Tegger


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