Humor: About retirees
 

Retirement !
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for a senior who still works and refuses
to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or
garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will
want to store stuff there. Or move back in there . . .

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal .

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break…spiked !

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a
retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the
people he worked with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

And, my very favorite....
QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I
rest.

Humor: About retirees
 

On Sun, 22 Jan 2012 05:01:56 -0600, "HeyBub" wrote:

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Dunno, I retired five years ago and for the next nine months I worked my ass
off. I finally got the whole concept of the "retirement" thing and gave it up
to go back to work. I'll probably try it again in another five. ;-)

Humor: About retirees
 

On Sun, 22 Jan 2012 05:01:56 -0600, "HeyBub"
wrote:

And, my very favorite....
QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I
rest.

A former co-worker would comment that when he retired, he "would be
the laziest white man on earth".

So far he is in second place. He retired after me. My wife voted on
it! sigh

QUESTION: Why does your back hurt?
Answer: I just walked past a ladder. tm

Humor: About retirees
 

On 1/22/2012 4:24 PM, zzzzzzzzzz wrote:
On Sun, 22 Jan 2012 05:01:56 -0600, wrote:

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Dunno, I retired five years ago and for the next nine months I worked my ass
off. I finally got the whole concept of the "retirement" thing and gave it up
to go back to work. I'll probably try it again in another five. ;-)

Lemme guess, with your cheerful attitude, you're a Walmart greeter?

Humor: About retirees
 

On Sun, 22 Jan 2012 17:29:51 -0500, Betelgeuse
wrote:

On 1/22/2012 4:24 PM, zzzzzzzzzz wrote:
On Sun, 22 Jan 2012 05:01:56 -0600, wrote:

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Dunno, I retired five years ago and for the next nine months I worked my ass
off. I finally got the whole concept of the "retirement" thing and gave it up
to go back to work. I'll probably try it again in another five. ;-)

Lemme guess, with your cheerful attitude, you're a Walmart greeter?

Hardly. Just too lazy to retire. ;-)

Humor: About retirees
 

HeyBub wrote:

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses
the people he worked with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

I really like that one.

--
Tony Sivori
Due to spam, I'm filtering all Google Groups posters.

Humor: About retirees
 

On Jan 22, 6:01*am, "HeyBub" wrote:
Retirement !
Question: *How many days in a week?
Answer: * * *6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: *When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: * * *Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: *How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: * * *Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: *What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: * * *There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: *Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: * * *The term comes with a 10% discount.

Question: *Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: * * *Tied shoes.

Question: *Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: * They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: *What is the common term for a senior who still works and refuses
to retire?
Answer: *NUTS!

Question: *Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or
garage?
Answer: *They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will
want to store stuff there. *Or move back in there . . .

Question: *What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: * * Normal .

Question: *What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: * *The never ending Coffee Break…spiked !

Question: *What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a
retiree?
Answer: * * * If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: *Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the
people he worked with?
Answer: * * * *He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

And, my very favorite....
QUESTION: *What do you do all week?
Answer: * * * * *Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I
rest.

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Pre-retirees often think that they'll need less money to live on once
they retire. You know, the old adage of 80% of your current salary.

Then someone asks them: What if every day was Saturday?

They tends to alter their thinking.

Humor: About retirees
 

On Sun, 22 Jan 2012 16:28:13 -0800 (PST), DerbyDad03
wrote:

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Pre-retirees often think that they'll need less money to live on once
they retire. You know, the old adage of 80% of your current salary.

Then someone asks them: What if every day was Saturday?

They tends to alter their thinking.

It came to decision time for me to retire. Hang up my keys too the
asylum. I asked Mom: "When did you decide to retire?" How do you get
by?"

Mom: "if I get hungry I can always go back to work."

Love you mom!

Humor: About retirees
 

How much sleep does a retiree need?

8 hours a day .....10 at night.

Humor: About retirees
 

On Sun, 22 Jan 2012 16:28:13 -0800 (PST), DerbyDad03
wrote:



Pre-retirees often think that they'll need less money to live on once
they retire. You know, the old adage of 80% of your current salary.

Then someone asks them: What if every day was Saturday?

They tends to alter their thinking.

That is one reason I'm still working. I'd not only want 100% of my
salary, I'd want more since I'd have more time to travel or build
things.

I'm also one of the few people that can honestly say I like my job. I
have it made.

Humor: About retirees
 

On Sunday, January 22, 2012 5:25:46 PM UTC-7, Tony Sivori wrote:
HeyBub wrote:

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses
the people he worked with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

I really like that one.

--
Tony Sivori
Due to spam, I'm filtering all Google Groups posters.

You'll be sorry you did that.
===

Humor: About retirees
 

On Jan 22, 10:16*pm, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
On Sun, 22 Jan 2012 16:28:13 -0800 (PST), DerbyDad03

wrote:
Pre-retirees often think that they'll need less money to live on once
they retire. You know, the old adage of 80% of your current salary.

Then someone asks them: What if every day was Saturday?

They tends to alter their thinking.

That is one reason I'm still working. *I'd not only want 100% of my
salary, I'd want more since I'd have more time to travel or build
things.

I'm also one of the few people that can honestly say I like my job. *I
have it made.

The other thing that many pre-retirees think is that they're expenses
will go down once they get older and stop traveling and having fun.

They don't realize that the cost of that trip to Italy is going to be
replaced with the cost of health care via more prescriptions and trips
to the doctor/hospital.

Humor: About retirees
 

Roy wrote:
On Sunday, January 22, 2012 5:25:46 PM UTC-7, Tony Sivori wrote:
HeyBub wrote:

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but
misses the people he worked with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

I really like that one.


You'll be sorry you did that.

I'll be sorry I liked a joke?

--
Tony Sivori
Due to spam, I'm filtering all Google Groups posters.

Humor: About retirees
 

On Mon, 23 Jan 2012 07:02:27 -0800 (PST), DerbyDad03
wrote:



The other thing that many pre-retirees think is that they're expenses
will go down once they get older and stop traveling and having fun.

They don't realize that the cost of that trip to Italy is going to be
replaced with the cost of health care via more prescriptions and trips
to the doctor/hospital.


Between Medicare, a good supplement and prescription plan, our cost is
$600 a month. If I retire, I pay it all.