Problems with my patio
 

Last year I spent considerable money to build a patio in our back
yard. At first it worked just fine. Our family would barabque out
there on weekends and we'd rest out there on lawn chairs after work.
It seemed to be paying for itself just by the relaxation it offerred.

Then came the problem. One day I came home from work and found two
men sitting in one of our lawn chairs. They were holding hands when I
found them. I told them to leave and they did. The next day I come
home and find seven naked men on our patio kissing each other and
doing other things I can not say on a public forum. This has
continued for several months and now our patio has become a playground
for all the homosexuals in town. Some days there are more than 100 of
them out there, and they wont leave when I ask them. They just ignore
me, or try to kiss me. When I called the police they told me that
there is nothing they can do to stop these men because they are on
private property. They claim if these men were doing these same
things on a public street or in a public building, they would be
arrested, but on private property there is little they can do. I can
almost swear that one of these homosexual men are one of the town's
cops, so that makes it even worse.

How can I stop this? I have already considered hiring a bulldozer
company and ripping up the patio, and just making it a lawn again. I
did remove all the lawn furniture a month ago, but they just brought
their own. My yard is littered with beer cans, liquor bottles, used
condoms, underwear, and other garbage. Some of them even urinate and
deficate on my lawn. My family refuses to even go out there anymore.
What can I do about this?

Problems with my patio
 

On Thu 17 Jan 2008 01:25:36a, told us...

Last year I spent considerable money to build a patio in our back
yard. At first it worked just fine. Our family would barabque out
there on weekends and we'd rest out there on lawn chairs after work.
It seemed to be paying for itself just by the relaxation it offerred.

Then came the problem. One day I came home from work and found two
men sitting in one of our lawn chairs. They were holding hands when I
found them. I told them to leave and they did. The next day I come
home and find seven naked men on our patio kissing each other and
doing other things I can not say on a public forum. This has
continued for several months and now our patio has become a playground
for all the homosexuals in town. Some days there are more than 100 of
them out there, and they wont leave when I ask them. They just ignore
me, or try to kiss me. When I called the police they told me that
there is nothing they can do to stop these men because they are on
private property. They claim if these men were doing these same
things on a public street or in a public building, they would be
arrested, but on private property there is little they can do. I can
almost swear that one of these homosexual men are one of the town's
cops, so that makes it even worse.

How can I stop this? I have already considered hiring a bulldozer
company and ripping up the patio, and just making it a lawn again. I
did remove all the lawn furniture a month ago, but they just brought
their own. My yard is littered with beer cans, liquor bottles, used
condoms, underwear, and other garbage. Some of them even urinate and
deficate on my lawn. My family refuses to even go out there anymore.
What can I do about this?



Send your family away and join the guys on the patio!

--
Wayne Boatwright

*******************************************
Date: Thursday, 01(I)/17(XVII)/08(MMVIII)
*******************************************
Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS.
*******************************************

Problems with my patio
 

"Wayne Boatwright" wrote in message
3.184...
On Thu 17 Jan 2008 01:25:36a, told us...

Last year I spent considerable money to build a patio in our back
yard. At first it worked just fine. Our family would barabque out
there on weekends and we'd rest out there on lawn chairs after work.
It seemed to be paying for itself just by the relaxation it offerred.

Then came the problem. One day I came home from work and found two
men sitting in one of our lawn chairs. They were holding hands when I
found them. I told them to leave and they did. The next day I come
home and find seven naked men on our patio kissing each other and
doing other things I can not say on a public forum. This has
continued for several months and now our patio has become a playground
for all the homosexuals in town. Some days there are more than 100 of
them out there, and they wont leave when I ask them. They just ignore
me, or try to kiss me. When I called the police they told me that
there is nothing they can do to stop these men because they are on
private property. They claim if these men were doing these same
things on a public street or in a public building, they would be
arrested, but on private property there is little they can do. I can
almost swear that one of these homosexual men are one of the town's
cops, so that makes it even worse.

How can I stop this? I have already considered hiring a bulldozer
company and ripping up the patio, and just making it a lawn again. I
did remove all the lawn furniture a month ago, but they just brought
their own. My yard is littered with beer cans, liquor bottles, used
condoms, underwear, and other garbage. Some of them even urinate and
deficate on my lawn. My family refuses to even go out there anymore.
What can I do about this?



Send your family away and join the guys on the patio!

--
Wayne Boatwright

*******************************************
Date: Thursday, 01(I)/17(XVII)/08(MMVIII)
*******************************************
Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS.
*******************************************





Reminds me of the time 7 homosexuals snuck into my hot tub. All of a sudden
a condum floated to the top. One of the guys then said "OK, who farted?"

Problems with my patio
 

On Thu, 17 Jan 2008 02:25:36 -0600, familyguy wrote:

Last year I spent considerable money to build a patio in our back yard.
At first it worked just fine. Our family would barabque out there on
weekends and we'd rest out there on lawn chairs after work. It seemed to
be paying for itself just by the relaxation it offerred.

Then came the problem. One day I came home from work and found two men
sitting in one of our lawn chairs. They were holding hands when I found
them. I told them to leave and they did. The next day I come home and
find seven naked men on our patio kissing each other and doing other
things I can not say on a public forum. This has continued for several
months and now our patio has become a playground for all the homosexuals
in town. Some days there are more than 100 of them out there, and they
wont leave when I ask them. They just ignore me, or try to kiss me.
When I called the police they told me that there is nothing they can do
to stop these men because they are on private property. They claim if
these men were doing these same things on a public street or in a public
building, they would be arrested, but on private property there is
little they can do. I can almost swear that one of these homosexual men
are one of the town's cops, so that makes it even worse.

How can I stop this? I have already considered hiring a bulldozer
company and ripping up the patio, and just making it a lawn again. I
did remove all the lawn furniture a month ago, but they just brought
their own. My yard is littered with beer cans, liquor bottles, used
condoms, underwear, and other garbage. Some of them even urinate and
deficate on my lawn. My family refuses to even go out there anymore.
What can I do about this?


Cheny/Bush are rewriting the constitution and new world order affecting
billions of people and you are worried about a handful of misplaced men
in your backyard? Count your blessings that homeland security has
discovered you. Watch for black suburbans with tinted windows. Much
worse scenario. At least with the gays you know who is doing what to
whom.

Problems with my patio
 

Problems with my patio
 

On Thu, 17 Jan 2008 17:43:30 -0600, Red Green
wrote:

wrote in news:3a3uo3d61id1p3p2bdf92j56mlae6a4mam@
4ax.com:




Pick a house far away with a patio. Tell them there is a guy thee who boast
easily burying a soda can up his ass and give them the address.

And not Gerbils?

Oren
--

Problems with my patio
 

Oren wrote in
:

On Thu, 17 Jan 2008 17:43:30 -0600, Red Green
wrote:

wrote in
news:3a3uo3d61id1p3p2bdf92j56mlae6a4mam@ 4ax.com:




Pick a house far away with a patio. Tell them there is a guy thee who
boast easily burying a soda can up his ass and give them the address.

And not Gerbils?

Oren
--

I kinza likes amnimals so's I don'ts bad mouth 'em.

-----
Red's latest idea:

Can never find car keys. Duct tapes cell phone to keys. Demo's how this
works. Calls cell phone from land line. Hears faint noise from bathroom.
As he walks in, cell phone, on vibrate, rumbles off top of tank into
crapper.

Problems with my patio
 

On Thu, 17 Jan 2008 18:40:48 -0600, Red Green
wrote:

I kinza likes amnimals so's I don'ts bad mouth 'em.

-----
Red's latest idea:

Can never find car keys. Duct tapes cell phone to keys. Demo's how this
works. Calls cell phone from land line. Hears faint noise from bathroom.
As he walks in, cell phone, on vibrate, rumbles off top of tank into
crapper.

Duct tape rules!

Oren
--

Problems with my patio
 

On Jan 17, 7:40*pm, Red Green wrote:
Oren wrote :





On Thu, 17 Jan 2008 17:43:30 -0600, Red Green
wrote:

wrote in
news:3a3uo3d61id1p3p2bdf92j56mlae6a4mam@ 4ax.com:

Pick a house far away with a patio. Tell them there is a guy thee who
boast easily burying a soda can up his ass and give them the address.

And not Gerbils?

Oren
--

I kinza likes amnimals so's I don'ts bad mouth 'em.

-----
Red's latest idea:

Can never find car keys. Duct tapes cell phone to keys. Demo's how this
works. Calls cell phone from land line. Hears faint noise from bathroom.
As he walks in, cell phone, on vibrate, rumbles off top of tank into
crapper.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Why not just put the car keys in the toilet everytime, so you'll know
where they are?

Problems with my patio
 

DerbyDad03 wrote in
:

On Jan 17, 7:40*pm, Red Green wrote:
Oren wrote
innews:svqvo39paedlufcm9b4earkdi3qd21s1pk@4ax.
com:





On Thu, 17 Jan 2008 17:43:30 -0600, Red Green
wrote:

wrote in
news:3a3uo3d61id1p3p2bdf92j56mlae6a4mam@ 4ax.com:

Pick a house far away with a patio. Tell them there is a guy thee
who boast easily burying a soda can up his ass and give them the
address.

And not Gerbils?

Oren
--

I kinza likes amnimals so's I don'ts bad mouth 'em.

-----
Red's latest idea:

Can never find car keys. Duct tapes cell phone to keys. Demo's how
this works. Calls cell phone from land line. Hears faint noise from
bathroom. As he walks in, cell phone, on vibrate, rumbles off top of
tank into crapper.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Why not just put the car keys in the toilet everytime, so you'll know
where they are?



You've never seen the show I take it.