DIYbanter - tips when working by yourself

On Sun, 2 Dec 2007 06:52:02 -0800 (PST), Rald wrote:

Is there a book or website with tips for completing house construction
related tasks when working solo?

Tip #1. When you are erecting a wall, never attempt to sit or stand
on the top of the first stud. Build the entire frame before
attempting to climb on top.

Tip#2. Always build the lower story first. Attempting to build the
upper story prior to completing the frameing of the low story could be
deadly. (Yes, I actually did see this done once, where some moron
adding an addition to his home, placed two doubled 2x4's in the
corners and built the upper portion on top of these four 2x4's.)

Tip#3. If you try to use a hammer to paint a wall, you should hire a
professional to do your repairs or construction.

Tip#4. Before using power tools, always call the police first, to get
yourself a breathalizer to insure you are sober.

Tip #5. Always remove your shorts before you turn on the electrical
power.

Tip #6. When climbing a ladder, be sure you never invite your 380lb
wife up the ladder for aerial-sex.

Tip#7. Always complete installing a toilet before using it, no matter
how bad you got to go.

Tip#8. Just because Joseph was a carpenter does not mean you should
use the Bible as you home repair manual.

Tip#9. If you can't fix it, you only have two other choices. Call a
professional, or beat the f**k out of it until it's beyond repair.

Tip#10. If you can't find anyone to help you with your projects, you
can always go to a local gay bar and get lots of recruits. Gay men are
particularly helpful when you're working on electrical wiring, because
gays always remove your shorts.
When entering a gay bar, always approach the gay men that are wearing
a leather harness, because those harnesses make great tool holders, so
they are ready to work their asses off.

There you go, the top ten tips. Everyone is encouraged to add to this
list. Hope this makes your projects more pleasing !!!!