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[email protected] July 10th 07 05:31 AM

Apprentice Electrician needs help
 
My name is Deandre Sharpe, I live in Dearborn, MI. I am writing this
message to promote and hopefully recruit myself. I am a aspiring
apprentice electrician, who has completed a four year electrical
aprenticeship program and a two year vocational program in electrical
construction. I have two years hands on experience. I have been
looking to educate myself and push the boundries of my knowledge to
excel in this career. I understand that there is plenty of growth in
this trade although it seems like it's much harder to actually get
in. If there are any positions available for an excellent electrical
apprentice with any organization in any state, PLEASE, do not hesitate
to contact me. I would gladly join your team. By hiring me as a
apprentice there are tax breaks which you would receive and you would
also aquire a motivated person, a excellent listener, a quick learner
egar to work anytime. Is there anyone otu there who can help me. my
e-mail address is Thank you in advance for
your help.


dpb July 10th 07 09:02 PM

Apprentice Electrician needs help
 
wrote:
My name is Deandre Sharpe, I live in Dearborn, MI. I am writing this
message to promote and hopefully recruit myself. I am a aspiring
apprentice electrician, ...


If you're having trouble w/ employment opportunities there, I'd suggest
considering going to someplace where local economy is better and
construction is proceeding apace first rather than waiting for a call
from the blue. Right-to-work states would be a good choice, as well.
The whole Gulf Coast and FL are still in the midst of rebuilding as are
many areas in the midwest after this year's tornadoes and floods. CA is
needing qualified people as will many of the western states after the
fires of recent news headlines. Opportunities are there, you may need
to go elsewhere to search them out first.

....
also aquire a motivated person, a excellent listener, a quick learner
egar to work anytime. Is there anyone otu there who can help me. my

....

You might want to use spell-checker a little more closely in future
resume-type thingies--sorta' negates the picture you're trying to paint
here...

Good luck

--

William Underhill July 11th 07 09:38 PM

Apprentice Electrician needs help
 
dpb wrote:
wrote:
My name is Deandre Sharpe, I live in Dearborn, MI. I am writing this
message to promote and hopefully recruit myself. I am a aspiring
apprentice electrician, ...


If you're having trouble w/ employment opportunities there, I'd suggest
considering going to someplace where local economy is better and
construction is proceeding apace first rather than waiting for a call
from the blue. Right-to-work states would be a good choice, as well.
The whole Gulf Coast and FL are still in the midst of rebuilding as are
many areas in the midwest after this year's tornadoes and floods. CA is
needing qualified people as will many of the western states after the
fires of recent news headlines. Opportunities are there, you may need
to go elsewhere to search them out first.


There's also a building boom in British Columbia, if you feel inclined
to move to Canada. Lots of contractors hiring; I had one wanting to know
if I wanted to jump ship from the Navy. Wasn't as interested when I told
him only if he was prepared to hire me as a journeyman with 2 years
credit towards master electrician, but after 15 years in the Navy as an
electrial tech I'll be damned if I'm going to pull wire for someone.

Yours aye,
W. Underhill

--
"Take sides! Always take sides! You may sometimes be wrong - but the man
who refuses to take sides must *always* be wrong! Heaven save us from
poltroons who fear to make a choice!" R.A. Heinlein, "Double Star"

mm July 12th 07 06:37 AM

Apprentice Electrician needs help
 
On Tue, 10 Jul 2007 04:31:16 -0000, "
wrote:

My name is Deandre Sharpe, I live in Dearborn, MI. I am writing this
message to promote and hopefully recruit myself. I am a aspiring


DPB is right about spelling errors and writing style. It's harder to
proofread one's own stuff, so maybe get someone who you know writes
well to do so. Those at alt.english.usage will sometimes proofread
people's stuff, but sometimes no one wants to. I haven't figured out
exactly what makes the difference.

You don't want to recruit yourself. People recruit *other* people.

an aspiring, not a aspiring.

apprentice electrician, who has completed a four year electrical
aprenticeship program and a two year vocational program in electrical
construction. I have two years hands on experience. I have been


These are the most important three lines.

When used as adjectives, as they are here, it's four-year, two-year,
and hands-on. The last sentence requires a possessive form, "I
have two years' hands-on experience." or better yet, "two years of
hands-on experience". No hyphen between two and years in either of
these.

looking to educate myself and push the boundries of my knowledge to
excel in this career. I understand that there is plenty of growth in
this trade although it seems like it's much harder to actually get
in.


This sentence is ok in a post here asking for help, but not good if
writing to a prospective employer. A) you're complaining, and B) I
suspect everyone in the trade knows it's hard to get started. IMO,
just leave it out.

IMO, the sentence before it isn't so good either, because it's so much
like advertising, "push the boundaries", and I suspect it doesn't
appeal very much to employer. How about just "I'm looking to learn and
to excel in my career."

If there are any positions available for an excellent electrical
apprentice with any organization in any state, PLEASE, do not hesitate
to contact me. I would gladly join your team. By hiring me as a
apprentice


an apprentice.

there are tax breaks which you would receive and you would
also aquire a motivated person, a excellent listener, a quick learner


acquire, an excellent, You use "an" before a vowel, or a consonant
that sounds like a vowel (like: an honest person), but not before a
vowel that sounds like a consonant (like: a union).

egar to work anytime. Is there anyone otu there who can help me. my


eager, out. Needs a question mark after the question.

I know that most people, including me, don't edit Usenet or even email
as carefully as they could, but you're looking for a job. And a
spell=-checker helps, but leaves errors in which the word is correctly
spelled but it's the wrong word. Like a and an.

e-mail address is Thank you in advance for
your help.


You should have divided the text into at least 4 paragraphs, making
the breaks where you change topics, where you change at least a little
bit. I say that mostly because it's very hard to read a big block of
text. Just looking at it is hard for many people. It's also hard to
go back and find a line again if one wants to.

Alaska had a lot of job opportunities for a long time, especially in
trades, but I don't know one way or another about now.

(One summer I got two postcards from different friends, who didn't
know each other, who both went to Alaska on vacation, and both said
there were lots of jobs for me there.)


P&M, but most people on usenet don't want to email replies. I hope
you're reading the group for replies.

Oren July 13th 07 12:02 AM

Apprentice Electrician needs help
 
On Tue, 10 Jul 2007 04:31:16 -0000, "
wrote:

I would gladly join your team. By hiring me as a
apprentice there are tax breaks which you would receive and you would
also aquire a motivated person, a excellent listener, a quick learner
egar to work anytime.


Don't bull**** a bull****er ..!!! All the people standing in line for
the jobs have a story.

Find a company you want to work for, compare benefits, yawn and then
apply. You really need to explain WHY they should even consider you.

What makes you stand out from the rest of the applicants?

Prisons need 'lectricians.. Check Milan, MI.

http://bop.gov/

--
Oren

...through the use of electrical or duct tape, achieve the configuration in the photo..

[email protected] July 22nd 07 09:50 PM

Apprentice Electrician needs help
 
On Jul 12, 7:02 pm, Oren wrote:
On Tue, 10 Jul 2007 04:31:16 -0000, "

wrote:
I would gladly join your team. By hiring me as a
apprentice there are tax breaks which you would receive and you would
also aquire a motivated person, a excellent listener, a quick learner
egar to work anytime.


Don't bull**** a bull****er ..!!! All the people standing in line for
the jobs have a story.

Find a company you want to work for, compare benefits, yawn and then
apply. You really need to explain WHY they should even consider you.

What makes you stand out from the rest of the applicants?

Prisons need 'lectricians.. Check Milan, MI.

http://bop.gov/

--
Oren

..through the use of electrical or duct tape, achieve the configuration in the photo..


Oren the bull**** is your comments. do something with you ****, just
not on my site


Oren July 22nd 07 10:25 PM

Apprentice Electrician needs help
 
On Sun, 22 Jul 2007 20:50:53 -0000, "
wrote:

On Jul 12, 7:02 pm, Oren wrote:
On Tue, 10 Jul 2007 04:31:16 -0000, "

wrote:
I would gladly join your team. By hiring me as a
apprentice there are tax breaks which you would receive and you would
also aquire a motivated person, a excellent listener, a quick learner
egar to work anytime.


Don't bull**** a bull****er ..!!! All the people standing in line for
the jobs have a story.

Find a company you want to work for, compare benefits, yawn and then
apply. You really need to explain WHY they should even consider you.

What makes you stand out from the rest of the applicants?


Oren the bull**** is your comments. do something with you ****, just
not on my site


My point was to not "flower things up". A prospective employer; doing
an interview should see through exaggerated claims. But then again;
they may see a person that every time the open their mouth - honey
runs out!

Good lunk!
--
Oren

"Well, it doesn't happen all the time, but when it happens, it happens constantly."


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