DIYbanter - The True Oops!

On Apr 22, 3:44 pm, "L. Credit Where Due T."
wrote:
On Apr. 22,

La Stinque Bollmann, in another failed 'impersonation', wrote its 'at
the truest' confession, to savor:

Holy Vesuvius!!! I don't know whether you heard it or not, but I just
emitted a gigantic window rattling fart. It must have registered at
least a 7.5 on the Rectum Scale.

At the leastest!

The wallpaper is peeling and Caitlin, the WonderGittess, is
trying to squeeze through the letter-slot in the front door.

Ah, a dour slut thru a door slot? How charming!

I can

hear a fleet of sirens and klaxons headed this way. I could be in some
really big trouble this time because look, I AM a cereal offender
(cereal in its digested form, that is) -

And a serial offender - at the ugliest known to man, beast, etc.!

might as well give credit where due. The
last time I farted this emphatically it only took a two hours for the
Guinness people to come knocking at my Boll-Hole Door

Hahh?
Your sewer domicile has a.....door??

with all kinds of
atmospheric pressure gauges and chemical-analysis kits and strain-
meters. When I flung the door open for them you would think they took
me for Dracula the way they were shoving crosses at me and lobbing
garlic bulbs into the room.

None of it worked, though! As we expected.
Paul Ferraro
And naturally my idiotic, nonexistent 'gwan'kydde' poopped through the
open door and took off like a scalded ratface geek I am and I didn't see it again

But 'she' smelled you again, didn't 'she'?
Richard Garmise
until I got a phone call from those nasty people in South Jersey.
Anyway, excuse me.

They won't. We won't.

Worst, Bollmann
Aiiee!!!!! Those crotte canapes!!!!!
Munch, munch....

Good Heavens!
You're SO disgusting, Stinkie!

Please expire - at the immediatest and at the painfullest.

TIA,
LT