Mailbox madness
 

On another newsgroup, there was a complaint about mailbox vandalism -
especially during Halloween. The thread prompted the following:

==== begin quote

I want to eventually build a stone pillar around it. Not only would that
protect it but it'd look nice.


Screw that!

I'd make the sonofabitch look like something out of a Mad Max movie, all
spikes and points and curly things, festooned with barbed wire and scary
gargoyles. Some of the figures would snort real smoke, and an occasional
flame. Slime would drip. Moans would be heard - except when someone touched
the box, then it would scream like a tormented banshee. I'd paint it black,
except for the eyes which would glow in the dark and follow you wherever you
went, much like a velvet painting of Elvis (or Jesus, I forget which) I used
to have.

Then, if the neighborhood owner's association complained about how hideous
it was, I put a curse on them.

==== end quote

Mailbox madness
 

The most effective method is as follows:
Take you a standard sized mailbox and remove the door. Put this mailbox
into the next size larger mailbox. Stand this assembly on end and weight
the smaller inner box by filling it with sand or bricks or gravel. Whatever
you have for weight. NOW, get you a bag of mortar mix from the hardware
store, mix it up and pour it between the little box and the big one. After
the cement cures, install as usual on a wood post. When the little *******s
hit that with a baseball bat, they'll know they hit something!!

--
Steve Barker


"HeyBub" wrote in message
...
On another newsgroup, there was a complaint about mailbox vandalism -
especially during Halloween. The thread prompted the following:

==== begin quote

I want to eventually build a stone pillar around it. Not only would that
protect it but it'd look nice.


Screw that!

I'd make the sonofabitch look like something out of a Mad Max movie, all
spikes and points and curly things, festooned with barbed wire and scary
gargoyles. Some of the figures would snort real smoke, and an occasional
flame. Slime would drip. Moans would be heard - except when someone
touched
the box, then it would scream like a tormented banshee. I'd paint it
black,
except for the eyes which would glow in the dark and follow you wherever
you
went, much like a velvet painting of Elvis (or Jesus, I forget which) I
used
to have.

Then, if the neighborhood owner's association complained about how hideous
it was, I put a curse on them.

==== end quote