Pervert at the Hardware Store
 

You are either a troll or an idiot. The nozzle screws on the male end
of the hose. The female end of the hose screws onto the faucet. You
wanted the male end. The punk kid will not get fired, the store owner
will be rolling on the floor laughing. I hope you are not a male
human.

Stretch

wrote in message
...
My nozzle would not go on my hose. Someone must have driven over the
end and it was all flat. My neighbor said they sell new ends at the
hardware store. I went to the hardware store and asked for a new hose
end. The stupid punk kid that works there, who is probably not a day
older than 25, asks me if my hose is a male or a female. I knew right
away the punk is some sort of pervert who spends all his time looking
at porn on the internet, and everything in life is about sex. I was
very angry and told the punk he is going to lose his job, and left
the store without the part. I am writing a letter to the store
manager to complain and I got the punks name. He will soon be
unemployed. Anyhow, how can you tell if my hose is male or female? I
want to know now.

Roy

You should explain Just what the punk said in detail to the manager.
They should pull his pants down and spank him hard but in a nice sort of
way.

"Stretch" wrote in message
oups.com...
You are either a troll or an idiot. The nozzle screws on the male end
of the hose. The female end of the hose screws onto the faucet. You
wanted the male end. The punk kid will not get fired, the store owner
will be rolling on the floor laughing. I hope you are not a male
human.

Stretch


I think the key word is idiot. I wish I was at the store when they get that
letter.

Sacramento Dave wrote:
wrote in message
...

My nozzle would not go on my hose.


You should explain Just what the punk said in detail to the manager.
They should pull his pants down and spank him hard but in a nice sort of
way.




It's a troll for krist's sake. geesh...

G Henslee wrote:
Sacramento Dave wrote:
wrote in message
...

My nozzle would not go on my hose.


You should explain Just what the punk said in detail to the manager.
They should pull his pants down and spank him hard but in a nice sort of
way.




It's a troll for krist's sake. geesh...

And a poor one at that. You gave him a 3, I wouldn't go over 1.5.

Harry K

"Stretch" wrote in message
oups.com...
You are either a troll or an idiot.

In looking at the message source he's probably a drunk idiot:
Date: Sat, 16 Jul 2005 01:24:34 -0500

1am on a Friday night? Yeah, too much free time and too many beers.

Harry K wrote:

G Henslee wrote:

Sacramento Dave wrote:

wrote in message
...


My nozzle would not go on my hose.


You should explain Just what the punk said in detail to the manager.
They should pull his pants down and spank him hard but in a nice sort of
way.




It's a troll for krist's sake. geesh...


And a poor one at that. You gave him a 3, I wouldn't go over 1.5.

Harry K


Ayup. That's on a scale from 1-100.

wrote in message
.. .
My nozzle would not go on my hose. Someone must have driven over the
end and it was all flat. My neighbor said they sell new ends at the
hardware store. I went to the hardware store and asked for a new hose
end. The stupid punk kid that works there, who is probably not a day
older than 25, asks me if my hose is a male or a female. I knew right
away the punk is some sort of pervert who spends all his time looking
at porn on the internet, and everything in life is about sex. I was
very angry and told the punk he is going to lose his job, and left
the store without the part. I am writing a letter to the store
manager to complain and I got the punks name. He will soon be
unemployed. Anyhow, how can you tell if my hose is male or female? I
want to know now.

Stick it about 2' up your ass. If it's male, it will feel good.

--
Slimes Daily Motto: 1) Tax & Spend 2) Change the constitution to make
it easier to do (1).

On Sat, 16 Jul 2005 01:24:34 -0500, wrote:

My nozzle would not go on my hose. Someone must have driven over the
end and it was all flat. My neighbor said they sell new ends at the
hardware store. I went to the hardware store and asked for a new hose
end. The stupid punk kid that works there, who is probably not a day
older than 25, asks me if my hose is a male or a female. I knew right
away the punk is some sort of pervert who spends all his time looking
at porn on the internet, and everything in life is about sex. I was
very angry and told the punk he is going to lose his job, and left
the store without the part. I am writing a letter to the store
manager to complain and I got the punks name. He will soon be
unemployed. Anyhow, how can you tell if my hose is male or female? I
want to know now.

Hmmm, I just checked, all my current hoses are kinda bisexual. On one
side ya got 'yer male thingy, the other end is more female like. I
guess it's a good situation for the hose, the male end can couple with
the female end.

Does your hose get unpredictable and moody on a regular monthly basis?
Do you often have to feed it and talk to it sweetly before it will put
out? Does it require an expensive outer covering before it will allow
you to take it out? Must these outer covering be rotated, never to use
the same one twice in one month? Does your hose require a different
set of coverings depending on the season?

If the above is true, sorry to say, but you are stuck with a female
hose. I suggest surgery to convert it to the more utilitarian bisexual
hose.

Roy

DJ

"DJ" wrote in message ...
Hmmm, I just checked, all my current hoses are kinda bisexual. On one
side ya got 'yer male thingy, the other end is more female like. I
guess it's a good situation for the hose, the male end can couple with
the female end.

Does your hose get unpredictable and moody on a regular monthly basis?
Do you often have to feed it and talk to it sweetly before it will put
out? Does it require an expensive outer covering before it will allow
you to take it out? Must these outer covering be rotated, never to use
the same one twice in one month? Does your hose require a different
set of coverings depending on the season?

If the above is true, sorry to say, but you are stuck with a female
hose. I suggest surgery to convert it to the more utilitarian bisexual
hose.

Heh. My first reaction to the troll was, "Too bad, you probably
missed the best sex you'll ever have in your life."

Well, you got to unscrew it off. And then you visually compare the end to a
handy male versus female chart which is easily found on the web.

But you think I'm a pervert, too, cause I'm telling you to unscrew off.

--

Christopher A. Young
Learn more about Jesus
www.lds.org
www.mormons.com


wrote in message
...
My nozzle would not go on my hose. Someone must have driven over the
end and it was all flat. My neighbor said they sell new ends at the
hardware store. I went to the hardware store and asked for a new hose
end. The stupid punk kid that works there, who is probably not a day
older than 25, asks me if my hose is a male or a female. I knew right
away the punk is some sort of pervert who spends all his time looking
at porn on the internet, and everything in life is about sex. I was
very angry and told the punk he is going to lose his job, and left
the store without the part. I am writing a letter to the store
manager to complain and I got the punks name. He will soon be
unemployed. Anyhow, how can you tell if my hose is male or female? I
want to know now.

Roy

This was pretty lame compared to some. I'm not going to bother to archive
it.

--

Christopher A. Young
Learn more about Jesus
www.lds.org
www.mormons.com


Don't know about others, but I spy Stormin' Mormon adding this one to
his list of funniest a.h.r. posts.

I knew right
away the punk is some sort of pervert who spends all his time looking
at porn on the internet, and everything in life is about sex.

Everything in life IS about sex.

And aren't we supposed to be looking at porn on the Internet?

I thought that was the reason Al Gore created the Internet in the first
place?

duh!