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ۥ R. L. Measures June 23rd 05 10:09 AM

God's Monopoly
 
In article ,
wrote:

God has a monopoly. That's because he is the only God and he knows
it. If anyone else claims to be a god, or impersonates him, God
strikes them down. We know this from reading the Bible, and we all
know that the bible is God's instruction manual,...


• My impression of the Bible is that it contains adequate misinformation
to suggest that some parts of it are a human fabrication by men who sought
to filch power and wealth for themselves.

--
Rich. 805.386.3734

Dr. Hardcrab June 23rd 05 11:25 AM


Does God's Monopoly have a Park Place and a Boardwalk?



SheBlewHimDidYouBlowHim June 23rd 05 12:22 PM

"God also claims sex is evil, it saysthis in the bible too"

more bible horse**** !

Tell that to Lot and his daughters that were ****ing each other.
But wait, oh that's right, Lot wasn't aware that his daughters had his cock
inside their pussy....yea, right, and I just won the lottery last night too.
Hey, I guess if you aren't aware that you're ****ing your daughter, then it
makes it all okay, huh ?

Now, I;m sorry, but it says Lot wasn't aware, sorry, I just don't buy this
one at all, if there's a woman who has a cock in her pussy, and she's
getting the guy to come so she can get pregnant, I think The guy is going to
be ****ing AWARE of that.
Hmmm, Lot's wondering, why the **** am I waking up with this HUGE smile on
my face EVERY morning......and why am I so ****ing tired after I supposedly
slept all night, and why the ****ing hell is my cock all wet and slimy
??????????? and why the damn hell does it smell like fish ?????




ۥ R. L. Measures June 24th 05 02:17 PM

In article A6wue.4042$1q2.2924@trnddc01, "Dr. Hardcrab"
wrote:

Does God's Monopoly have a Park Place and a Boardwalk?


** No but it has similar venues. However, the major difference is
between hell and jail.

--
Rich. 805.386.3734

ۥ R. L. Measures June 24th 05 02:25 PM

In article .net,
"SheBlewHimDidYouBlowHim" wrote:

"God also claims sex is evil, it saysthis in the bible too"

more bible horse**** !

Tell that to Lot and his daughters that were ****ing each other.
But wait, oh that's right, Lot wasn't aware that his daughters had his cock
inside their pussy....yea, right, and I just won the lottery last night too.


• Chortle. Winning the lottery is a hell of a lot more possible than
Lott having coitus with both of one's virgin daughters and remembering
not.

Hey, I guess if you aren't aware that you're ****ing your daughter, then it
makes it all okay, huh ?

Now, I;m sorry, but it says Lot wasn't aware, sorry, I just don't buy this
one at all, if there's a woman who has a cock in her pussy, and she's
getting the guy to come so she can get pregnant, I think The guy is going to
be ****ing AWARE of that.


• Damn right he is. If a guy is That stinkin' drunk, there can be no
erection.

Hmmm, Lot's wondering, why the **** am I waking up with this HUGE smile on
my face EVERY morning......and why am I so ****ing tired after I supposedly
slept all night, and why the ****ing hell is my cock all wet and slimy
??????????? and why the damn hell does it smell like fish ?????



• Because the story is fishy ?

--
Rich. 805.386.3734

cowboy June 24th 05 08:12 PM


LOL



wrote in message
...
God has a monopoly. That's because he is the only God and he knows
it. If anyone else claims to be a god, or impersonates him, God
strikes them down. We know this from reading the Bible, and we all
know that the bible is God's instruction manual, and like all
instruction manuals, it states all the safety rules, like always wear
safety glasses when using this God, and always plug God into a
properly grounded outlet, and always keep God away from children when
he is turned on.

God also claims sex is evil, it saysthis in the bible too. Everyone
thinks that the reason is because of sin. However, it really has
nothing to do with sin. The reason God is against sex is because he
naver gets any. Now, don't get this wrong. God could have sex, but
the reason he don't is because he knows that if he has sex, his
offspring will also be gods, and there goes the whole monopoly right
out the window. God don't want any competition, so he remains sex
free in order to eliminate reproducing more gods.

Finally, God wants everyone to go to church. Now I suppose you go to
church to worship God, but no one has ever told you that while you are
in church on Sunday morning, God is out drinking. Even God needs a
rest once and awhile, and he knows that all his creatures are much
safer in church than out on the streets, so that gives him time to get
a good drunk going before he has to return to work. After all, aside
from getting paper cuts on the hymnals and prayer books, church is a
pretty safe place to be. So, next time you are in church, remember,
God is out getting drunk and taking a much deserved rest.

This just leaves one question. Does God attend Alcoholics Anonymous
meetings after we all leave church?

Wally




F.H. June 24th 05 09:05 PM

cowboy felt compelled to share (cross post *and* top post) the following
with 4 different groups and thus brought new meaning to brevity and
rudeness for the sake of self flagellation:

LOL


Dr. Hardcrab June 25th 05 01:50 AM


"?. R. L. Measures" wrote in message
...
In article A6wue.4042$1q2.2924@trnddc01, "Dr. Hardcrab"
wrote:

Does God's Monopoly have a Park Place and a Boardwalk?


** No but it has similar venues. However, the major difference is
between hell and jail.


I have a "Get out of Hell free" card.....

(bought the on WeeBay...)



F.H. June 25th 05 01:57 AM

Dr. Hardcrab wrote:

I have a "Get out of Hell free" card.....

(bought the on WeeBay...)


You forgot to cross post it to alt.crabs.cure

Dr. Hardcrab June 25th 05 01:58 AM


"F.H." wrote in message
news:0_1ve.1197$Tk2.145@trnddc02...
Dr. Hardcrab wrote:

I have a "Get out of Hell free" card.....

(bought the on WeeBay...)


You forgot to cross post it to alt.crabs.cure


Don't need to.....I AM the cure.....



ۥ R. L. Measures June 25th 05 04:31 AM

In article kT1ve.132$B82.7@trnddc04, "Dr. Hardcrab"
wrote:

"?. R. L. Measures" wrote in message
...
In article A6wue.4042$1q2.2924@trnddc01, "Dr. Hardcrab"
wrote:

Does God's Monopoly have a Park Place and a Boardwalk?


** No but it has similar venues. However, the major difference is
between hell and jail.


I have a "Get out of Hell free" card.....

(bought the on WeeBay...)


** Damn good move. And, a Casrmelite Brown Scapular just might turn
out to be the best 8-bucks one ever spent.

--
Rich. 805.386.3734

Blue June 25th 05 11:10 PM


"?. R. L. Measures" wrote in message
...
In article ,
wrote:

God has a monopoly. That's because he is the only God and he knows
it. If anyone else claims to be a god, or impersonates him, God
strikes them down. We know this from reading the Bible, and we all
know that the bible is God's instruction manual,...


. My impression of the Bible is that it contains adequate misinformation
to suggest that some parts of it are a human fabrication by men who sought
to filch power and wealth for themselves.


And the rest is just plain bull****.



F.H. June 25th 05 11:31 PM

Blue wrote:

And the rest is just plain bull****.


Not completely useless. It gives shallow people the illusion that they
are brighter than average and something to bitch about endlessly.

ۥ R. L. Measures June 26th 05 12:13 AM

In article , "Blue" wrote:

"?. R. L. Measures" wrote in message
...
In article ,
wrote:

God has a monopoly. That's because he is the only God and he knows
it. If anyone else claims to be a god, or impersonates him, God
strikes them down. We know this from reading the Bible, and we all
know that the bible is God's instruction manual,...


. My impression of the Bible is that it contains adequate misinformation
to suggest that some parts of it are a human fabrication by men who sought
to filch power and wealth for themselves.


And the rest is just plain bull****.


** Maybe 85%.

--
Rich. 805.386.3734

F.H. June 26th 05 01:23 AM

ۥ R. L. Measures wrote:
In article , "Blue" wrote:


"?. R. L. Measures" wrote in message
...

In article ,
wrote:


God has a monopoly. That's because he is the only God and he knows
it. If anyone else claims to be a god, or impersonates him, God
strikes them down. We know this from reading the Bible, and we all
know that the bible is God's instruction manual,...

. My impression of the Bible is that it contains adequate misinformation
to suggest that some parts of it are a human fabrication by men who sought
to filch power and wealth for themselves.


And the rest is just plain bull****.



** Maybe 85%.


Yet another anonymous Usenet genius. Blah blah blah, *so* intelligent,
legions of lurkers are speechless in their awe.


ۥ R. L. Measures June 26th 05 01:46 PM

In article pAmve.1699$J12.565@trnddc05, wrote:

ۥ R. L. Measures wrote:
In article , "Blue" wrote:


"?. R. L. Measures" wrote in message
...

In article ,
wrote:


God has a monopoly. That's because he is the only God and he knows
it. If anyone else claims to be a god, or impersonates him, God
strikes them down. We know this from reading the Bible, and we all
know that the bible is God's instruction manual,...

. My impression of the Bible is that it contains adequate misinformation
to suggest that some parts of it are a human fabrication by men who sought
to filch power and wealth for themselves.

And the rest is just plain bull****.



** Maybe 85%.


Yet another anonymous Usenet genius.


• Anonymous? The name I post under and the name on my birth certificate
are the same. The telephone # in my sig is mine.

Blah blah blah, *so* intelligent,
legions of lurkers are speechless in their awe.


--
Rich. 805.386.3734


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