COLD WEATHER
Degrees Activity


60 Degrees
Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one).

50 Degrees
Miami residents turn on the heat.

45 Degrees
Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts.

40 Degrees
You can see your breath.
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Minnesotans go swimming.

35 Degrees
Italian cars don't start.

32 Degrees
Water freezes.

30 Degrees
You plan your vacation to Australia.

25 Degrees
Ohio water freezes.
Californians weep pitiably.
Minnesotans eat ice cream.
Canadians go swimming.

20 Degrees
Politicians begin to talk about the homeless.
New York City water freezes.
Miami residents plan vacation further South.

15 Degrees
French cars don't start.
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.

10 Degrees
You need jumper cables to get the car going.

5 Degrees
American cars don't start.

0 Degrees
Alaskans put on T-shirts.

-10 Degrees
German cars don't start.
Eyes freeze shut when you blink.

-15 Degrees
You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo.
Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects.
Miami residents cease to exist.

-20 Degrees
Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you.
Politicians actually do something about the homeless.
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof.
Japanese cars don't start.

-25 Degrees
Too cold to think.
You need jumper cables to get the driver going.

-30 Degrees
You plan a two week hot bath.
Swedish cars don't start.

-40 Degrees
Californians disappear.
Minnesotans button top button.
Canadians put on sweaters.
Your car helps you plan your trip South.

-50 Degrees
Congressional hot air freezes.
Alaskans close the bathroom window.

-80 Degrees
Hell freezes over.
Polar bears move South.
Viking Fans order hot cocoa at the game.

-90 Degrees
Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.

180 degrees: the direction of the spam killfile.

a friend from India is having his parents visit him now in Atlanta. Where
they're from, 115+ is common, with lows well into the 90s... he said they
actually think 80s is quite chilly and cannot handle air-conditioning that
gets it any cooler than that. He had to close all the vents in their
bedroom. He said his wife had the same reaction when she first moved here.