On Thu, 14 Mar 2019 22:23:35 -0000, Tim Streater wrote:

In article , Commander Kinsey
wrote:

I've yet to come across any old person who wouldn't like their stairlift to
get there quicker. For goodness sake, they're either trying to answer the
door, or get to the loo before they wet themselves, and the thing runs at less
than half a mile an hour. Are they powered by hamsters or something?

Why not contact Alton Towers? I understand they have some experience in
that department.

:-)