On 28 Feb 2008 04:40:39 -0800, Banty wrote:

In article ,
Smitty Two says...

In article ,
mm wrote:



She wrote this letter only to you? If so, forget about it,

Yes, to me, although she cc'd my g.f. and promised to send a copy to
the gentleman who referred me to her. (a promise that did not
materialize, but the gentleman was horrified when my g.f. showed the
letter to him later)




If she sent a copy to someone else, and harmed you in some way, please
give more details.



Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words addressed only to
you can't hurt you. What is it that happened that has you so
outrages?

That is a very thoughtful question, and one I have deliberated on a bit
already. More will no doubt be revealed. But, I will tell you that the
letter was outrageous, (so why would I not be outraged?) and 100%
unprovoked. If I had an employee who spoke to one of my customers like
that, I would fire the employee on the spot. Our society has grown rude,
and we have grown accepting of rudeness. I guess I'd like to rail
against that, effectively or not.

I wouldn't see this as an ethical question so much as your unfortunately haVING
run into an emotionally unstable, unhappy person. She didnt' set you up to lose
money or otherwise manipulate you, or others, to get something for herself, did
she? That would be more along the lines of what people consider ethical
questions.

I didn't think of this question in my previous post (which in most
newsreaders will actually follow this one)

If she just insulted him for things that were known to his gf, that's
not as bad. If she disclosed personal information that Smitty-2 might
have said to the agent when the gf wasn't around, that's unethical in
the bigger sense of the word. I don't know what code of ethics real
estate agents are required or supposed to subscribe to, or what rules
the various legistlatures and regulatory agencies and employers impose
on agents. But the fact, as I see it, that it is unethical to repeat
personal information about someone is reason enough to complain to the
boss. It still reflects on the boss's business, it still alienates
current and potential clients. And so maybe the boss should know.

In judging this, I don't think it matters if the g.f. already knew
what the letter contained or not, because I'm talking about info that
the agent didn't know the g.f. knew. I'm including everything, but
what might be particularly harmful is if Smitty had said, I want 3
bedrroms because I want to have two children. Because he might have
told his gf that he didn't want to have any children. He could have
been saying this because the gf wanted children, and he wanted her not
to want to marry him, or because he wanted her to want to marry him
for him alone, and not because he could give her children. (a bad
plan btw because she might come to terms with not having children, and
then not want them at all even though Smitty was planning on
surprising her with his wishes after they got engaged.) Or he might
want the other two bedrooms one for an office and one for growing pot,
but not want to tell the agent that.

Or if he had said how much money he could afford to spend on a house,
or how much money he made each year. She shoudln't be relating
anything he said that the gf might not know in a letter she sends to
the gf. That seems to violate professional ethics.

Anything else negative the agent had to say, including baseless
insults, might not be a violation of professional ethics and "ethics"
might be seen to be more narrow than proper behaviour in gnereal, but
it's a violation of one or both to send the letter to someone other
than Smitty.


From your description, this is beyond rudeness, so beyond your wisest course is
to realize that, and don't let her emotional problems affect your life further.
Which means to drop it. After bring the letters to the attention of any
superiors she may have. And thereafter don't use that realtor or any associated
realtor.

Is there something in the letters that's defamatory to you? (If so, are you
telling us everything?)

Banty