I just finished a design for a wall chart.
Standard dimensions to Woodworkers dimensions.

Units:

Ticks...add a few ticks = 1/16th of an inch?
Tads...take off a tad
Smidgens...a smidgen too large
C-hairs...move it JUST a C-hair
Hairs..it is a hair too big
Bits...move it over a bit
Whispers... I think I'll plane off a whisper
Littles.... put on a little glue.
Mites
Trifles
Chunks

There are some disagreements as to how many whispers there are in a hair.
I DO know that there are 14 tads to a smidgen.

Units of volume:
How many ****loads in a bucket full?


There may be some regional units of measurements as well.

I could use some unput.....Please?

Rob.

How many bee's-dicks to a fly-****? Sorry to introduce a metric to imperial
conversion.


Scott Forbes

"sandman" wrote in message
...
..

Units of volume:
How many ****loads in a bucket full?

Don't know, but there are 3 **** loads in a butt load.

sandman writes:
How many ****loads in a bucket full?

There are 128 buckets full in a ****load, at least for an Imperial
****load, which is a truckfull (and not those pansy shortbed trucks
either, the full sized ones that can hold a small import and have room
for chickens). Not to be confused with a "**** load" (two words),
which is 1/3 of an assload. Not to be confused with a metric assload,
which is 26 heads of cabbage.

What *I* want to know is, how many whispers in a dammit? (whisper,
whisper, whisper... dammit took too much off again - I guess it's three)

"sandman" wrote in message


C-hairs...move it JUST a C-hair

That is .004" Don't ask.

At MIT we studied a lot of units describing small things. For time, the
smallest unit was a flick of a hen's dick. It takes a lot of those to make
a microsecond!
Wilson
"sandman" wrote in message
...
I just finished a design for a wall chart.
Standard dimensions to Woodworkers dimensions.

Units:

Ticks...add a few ticks = 1/16th of an inch?
Tads...take off a tad
Smidgens...a smidgen too large
C-hairs...move it JUST a C-hair
Hairs..it is a hair too big
Bits...move it over a bit
Whispers... I think I'll plane off a whisper
Littles.... put on a little glue.
Mites
Trifles
Chunks

There are some disagreements as to how many whispers there are in a hair.
I DO know that there are 14 tads to a smidgen.

Units of volume:
How many ****loads in a bucket full?


There may be some regional units of measurements as well.

I could use some unput.....Please?

Rob.

I think that is about equivalent to a "bump", which is close to a
"plum"--these terms are usually applied only in the negative sense,
though, as in "a 'bump' too far" or "'plum' out of line." "Plum", in
this regard, is much like "way", but indicates a much smaller amount;
however, a 'plum' is larger than a 'bump'. Any etymological
association with "tad" is only speculative.

Dan

"Wilson Lamb" wrote in message
nk.net...
At MIT we studied a lot of units describing small things. For time, the
smallest unit was a flick of a hen's dick. It takes a lot of those to
make
a microsecond!
Wilson

A lot more than you think - hens don't have dicks.

B.

"sandman" wrote in message
C-hairs...move it JUST a C-hair
Edwin Pawlowski wrote:
That is .004" Don't ask.

Ed, that's a big, fat, black one, not the thin, little, blonde
ones. Ya gotta be specific in these things.

Dave in Fairfax
--
Dave Leader
reply-to doesn't work
use:
daveldr at att dot net
American Association of Woodturners
http://www.woodturner.org
Capital Area Woodturners
http://www.capwoodturners.org/
PATINA
http://www.Patinatools.org/

And RCH's are even finer units of measurement.

Art

"Dave in Fairfax" wrote in message
...
"sandman" wrote in message
C-hairs...move it JUST a C-hair
Edwin Pawlowski wrote:
That is .004" Don't ask.

Ed, that's a big, fat, black one, not the thin, little, blonde
ones. Ya gotta be specific in these things.

Dave in Fairfax
--
Dave Leader
reply-to doesn't work
use:
daveldr at att dot net
American Association of Woodturners
http://www.woodturner.org
Capital Area Woodturners
http://www.capwoodturners.org/
PATINA
http://www.Patinatools.org/

On Mon, 20 Dec 2004 01:25:40 +0000, Wood Butcher wrote:

And RCH's are even finer units of measurement.


Two pinks to one red, so pinks are finer yet.

- Doug

--

To escape criticism--do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard)

One should understand that an RCH (Red C-hair) is the smallest unit in
this dimension. It takes something like 20 RCH's to = 1 CHVBG!
John

sandman wrote:
I just finished a design for a wall chart.
Standard dimensions to Woodworkers dimensions.

Units:

Ticks...add a few ticks = 1/16th of an inch?
Tads...take off a tad
Smidgens...a smidgen too large
C-hairs...move it JUST a C-hair
Hairs..it is a hair too big
Bits...move it over a bit
Whispers... I think I'll plane off a whisper
Littles.... put on a little glue.
Mites
Trifles
Chunks

There are some disagreements as to how many whispers there are in a hair.
I DO know that there are 14 tads to a smidgen.

Units of volume:
How many ****loads in a bucket full?


There may be some regional units of measurements as well.

I could use some unput.....Please?

Rob.

Doug Winterburn wrote:

On Mon, 20 Dec 2004 01:25:40 +0000, Wood Butcher wrote:

And RCH's are even finer units of measurement.


Two pinks to one red, so pinks are finer yet.

But pinks ain't natural! To be pink its gotta be sprayed on, and that
means its thicker. Or.....pink...., wait, too much information!

Not the red variety. They're much finer. Closer to .002

"Edwin Pawlowski" wrote in message
. ..

"sandman" wrote in message


C-hairs...move it JUST a C-hair

That is .004" Don't ask.

In article ,
John DeBoo wrote:

One should understand that an RCH (Red C-hair) is the smallest unit in
this dimension. It takes something like 20 RCH's to = 1 CHVBG!
John

That would be about 200 RCH to a Tad then.

Okay, now we're getting somewhere.

The reader with the .004 measurement may have had his calipers on a
small braid.

"sandman" wrote in message
...


I just finished a design for a wall chart.
Standard dimensions to Woodworkers dimensions.

Units:

Mouse Nuts...

On Sun, 19 Dec 2004 23:39:44 -0500, sandman wrote:

In article ,
John DeBoo wrote:

One should understand that an RCH (Red C-hair) is the smallest unit in
this dimension. It takes something like 20 RCH's to = 1 CHVBG!
John

That would be about 200 RCH to a Tad then.

Okay, now we're getting somewhere.

The reader with the .004 measurement may have had his calipers on a
small braid.

Thought BCH (blonde) was the smallest unit?

"Mark & Juanita" wrote in message

The reader with the .004 measurement may have had his calipers on a
small braid.

Thought BCH (blonde) was the smallest unit?

More research must be done!

Edwin Pawlowski wrote:
"sandman" wrote in message



C-hairs...move it JUST a C-hair


That is .004" Don't ask.


Is that a BCH or an RCH. I always get then confused.

Glen

Buddy Matlosz wrote:

"Wilson Lamb" wrote in message
nk.net...

At MIT we studied a lot of units describing small things. For time, the
smallest unit was a flick of a hen's dick. It takes a lot of those to

make

a microsecond!
Wilson


A lot more than you think - hens don't have dicks.

B.


I don't know. I heard about the little boy and little girl who were
taling a bath together and the little girl asked, "Mommie, why don't I
have one of those?" pointing you know where.
The mother replied, "Don't worry, dear, with what you've got, someday
you'll be able to get as many of those as you want.

;-)
Glen

On Sun, 19 Dec 2004 23:39:44 -0500, sandman
calmly ranted:

In article ,
John DeBoo wrote:

One should understand that an RCH (Red C-hair) is the smallest unit in
this dimension. It takes something like 20 RCH's to = 1 CHVBG!
John

That would be about 200 RCH to a Tad then.

Okay, now we're getting somewhere.

The reader with the .004 measurement may have had his calipers on a
small braid.

Nah, that was prolly some Irish crossdresser's hair.


--------------------------------------------------------------------
I sent in my $5, so * http://www.diversify.com/stees.html
why haven't I been 'saved'? * Graphic Design - Humorous T-shirts

Oh no! Coffee in the keyboard!!!!!!!

Edwin Pawlowski wrote:

"sandman" wrote in message

C-hairs...move it JUST a C-hair

That is .004" Don't ask.

sandman wrote:
Okay, now we're getting somewhere.
The reader with the .004 measurement may have had his calipers on a
small braid.

Nope. If you reread what I wrote, you'll find that I said the
..004 musta been a thick BLACK one, not a thin Blonde one. Never
said that Red was thinner. As for braid, 4/1000 is about the
thickness of good quality paper, much thinner than braids, or
brads.

Dave in Fairfax
--
Dave Leader
reply-to doesn't work
use:
daveldr at att dot net
American Association of Woodturners
http://www.woodturner.org
Capital Area Woodturners
http://www.capwoodturners.org/
PATINA
http://www.Patinatools.org/

"Glen" wrote in message
ink.net...
Buddy Matlosz wrote:

"Wilson Lamb" wrote in message
nk.net...

At MIT we studied a lot of units describing small things. For time, the
smallest unit was a flick of a hen's dick. It takes a lot of those to

make

a microsecond!
Wilson


A lot more than you think - hens don't have dicks.

B.


I don't know. I heard about the little boy and little girl who were
taling a bath together and the little girl asked, "Mommie, why don't I
have one of those?" pointing you know where.
The mother replied, "Don't worry, dear, with what you've got, someday
you'll be able to get as many of those as you want.

Or . . . .
Little Johnny & Jane just LOVED eating chicken, until one day Johnny said
"I've got to stop eating chicken, I'm starting to grow feathers". Jane says
"I don't believe it, show me", then . . . "It's too late Johnny, you've
already got the neck & gizzard".

(Standard disclaimer . . "I didn't give birth to it, etc.")

--
Nahmie
Those on the cutting edge bleed a lot.

"Glen" wrote in message
ink.net...
Edwin Pawlowski wrote:
"sandman" wrote in message



C-hairs...move it JUST a C-hair


That is .004" Don't ask.


Is that a BCH or an RCH. I always get then confused.


I'm REALLY confused. I always thought RCH was "Royal . . . .".

--
Nahmie
Those on the cutting edge bleed a lot.

"Edwin Pawlowski" wrote in message
. ..

"sandman" wrote in message


C-hairs...move it JUST a C-hair

That is .004" Don't ask.


That would be a blonde C-hair?

Black - .005"
Brown - .0045"
Blond - .004" (Blonde is .0045")
Auburn - .0035"
Red - .003"

Wayne

sandman wrote:
I just finished a design for a wall chart.
Standard dimensions to Woodworkers dimensions.

Units:

Ticks...add a few ticks = 1/16th of an inch?
Tads...take off a tad
Smidgens...a smidgen too large
C-hairs...move it JUST a C-hair
Hairs..it is a hair too big
Bits...move it over a bit
Whispers... I think I'll plane off a whisper
Littles.... put on a little glue.
Mites
Trifles
Chunks

There are some disagreements as to how many whispers there are in a hair.
I DO know that there are 14 tads to a smidgen.

Units of volume:
How many ****loads in a bucket full?


There may be some regional units of measurements as well.

I could use some unput.....Please?

Rob.

The smallest measurement I've used is a "Fairy Fart"
A "Prayer" is also pretty small.
Aussie conversion "C-Hair" = "Mickey Whisker"
My Dad always said" A problems halved when you realise that it's only
short on one end"
John

No tads and smidgens here but some of these
may be interesting if not useful.

Art


Science & Engineering Conversion Chart

1,000,000 Microphones = 1 Phone
1,000,000 bicycles = 2 megacycles
500 millinaries = 1 seminary
2,000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
2,000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
10 cards = 1 decacards
1/2 lavatory = 1 demijohn
0.000001 fish = 1 microfiche
453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
1,000,000,000,000 pins = 1 terrapin
1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 picolos = 1 gigolo
10 rations = 1 decoration
100 rations = 1 C-ration
10 millipedes = 1 centipede
3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent
5 holocausts = 1 Pentacost
10 monologs = 5 dialogues
5 dialogues = 1 decalogue
2 monograms = 1 diagram
8 nickels = 2 paradigms
2 snake eyes = 1 paradise
2 wharves = 1 paradox
Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
1 Millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie soda = 1 lite year
Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
1000 aches = 1 kilohurtz
1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton


"sandman" wrote in message
...
snip

On Mon, 20 Dec 2004 15:46:21 -0500, "Norman D. Crow"
calmly ranted:

Or . . . .
Little Johnny & Jane just LOVED eating chicken, until one day Johnny said
"I've got to stop eating chicken, I'm starting to grow feathers". Jane says
"I don't believe it, show me", then . . . "It's too late Johnny, you've
already got the neck & gizzard".

(Standard disclaimer . . "I didn't give birth to it, etc.")

I very, very seldom miss a joke, Nahmie, but that one went right
past me.

Update: As I write this, I think I got it. Little Tim and the Twins
resembled said chicken parts.


--------------------------------------------------------
Murphy was an Optimist
----------------------------
http://diversify.com Comprehensive Website Development

"Larry Jaques" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 20 Dec 2004 15:46:21 -0500, "Norman D. Crow"
calmly ranted:

Or . . . .
Little Johnny & Jane just LOVED eating chicken, until one day Johnny said
"I've got to stop eating chicken, I'm starting to grow feathers". Jane
says
"I don't believe it, show me", then . . . "It's too late Johnny, you've
already got the neck & gizzard".

(Standard disclaimer . . "I didn't give birth to it, etc.")

I very, very seldom miss a joke, Nahmie, but that one went right
past me.

Update: As I write this, I think I got it. Little Tim and the Twins
resembled said chicken parts.

Yep!

--
Nahmie
Those on the cutting edge bleed a lot.

NoOne N Particular wrote:



That would be a blonde C-hair?

Black - .005"
Brown - .0045"
Blond - .004" (Blonde is .0045")
Auburn - .0035"
Red - .003"

Wayne



Excellent piece of research. I am humbled by your expertise. BTW, if
you ever need a research assistant to explore this matter further,
please let me know. I would love to apply for the position.

;-)
Glen

On Tue, 21 Dec 2004 11:45:38 GMT, Glen calmly
ranted:

NoOne N Particular wrote:



That would be a blonde C-hair?

Black - .005"
Brown - .0045"
Blond - .004" (Blonde is .0045")
Auburn - .0035"
Red - .003"

Wayne

Excellent piece of research. I am humbled by your expertise. BTW, if
you ever need a research assistant to explore this matter further,
please let me know. I would love to apply for the position.

I had a girlfriend from a farm in South Dakota when I was in Phoenix
for a year at tech school. Her sister (my buddy's girlfriend)
collected all the pubies from the shower drain and made them into a
"tree" for Christmas. I was -really- glad it wasn't my girlfriend who
did that. I didn't dare ask where it was stored the rest of the time.

Ah, fond memories of teen years...


--------------------------------------------------------
Murphy was an Optimist
----------------------------
http://diversify.com Comprehensive Website Development

In article ,
"Norman D. Crow" wrote:
[snip]
I don't know. I heard about the little boy and little girl who were
taling a bath together and the little girl asked, "Mommie, why don't I
have one of those?" pointing you know where.
The mother replied, "Don't worry, dear, with what you've got, someday
you'll be able to get as many of those as you want.

Or . . . .
Little Johnny & Jane just LOVED eating chicken, until one day Johnny said
"I've got to stop eating chicken, I'm starting to grow feathers". Jane says
"I don't believe it, show me", then . . . "It's too late Johnny, you've
already got the neck & gizzard".

(Standard disclaimer . . "I didn't give birth to it, etc.")

Little boy and a little girl, behind the barn doing some exploring.
"Wow!!", shrieked the little girl, she points at the boy's penis and
says: "Can I touch it?"
The boy steps back and says: "HELL no!! You tore yours off already!"