A hypothetical for your ponderment.

A wooddorker finds a bit of spare space in his yard^H^H^H^H shop, and
decides to quickly erect a stout bench from the materials at hand.
Let's say the wooddorker finds some somewhat straight, and somewhat
cheap dimensional lumber at the local BORG and sets out to build a
functional bench from green douglas fir (not really a fir, but this is
common usage and I don't really have time discuss vagaries of the
various conifers for sale locally, though they are an extremely
interesting species), complete with carefully cut/milled/trimmed
square dog holes for a beefy iron bench dog.

And let's further say that as the wood seasons, the bench dog holes
shrink, making it impossible to use the beefy bench in the bench.

*sigh*

DAMHIKT.

Humbly submitted,

Single-Stop O'Deen

Patrick Olguin did say:

complete with carefully cut/milled/trimmed
square dog holes for a beefy iron bench dog.

And let's further say that as the wood seasons, the bench dog holes
shrink, making it impossible to use the beefy bench in the bench.

Better race right out to http://www.lie-nielsen.com and get those $275
rosewood handled chisels to widen the dog holes a skosh...

--
New project = new tool. Hard and fast rule.

"Patrick Olguin" wrote in message
m...
Snip



And let's further say that as the wood seasons, the bench dog holes
shrink, making it impossible to use the beefy bench in the bench.

*sigh*


I think the holes are going to get bigger, not shrink unless you add water
regularly. ;~) You gotta think shrink the other way.

"Leon" writes:

"Patrick Olguin" wrote in message
m...
Snip



And let's further say that as the wood seasons, the bench dog holes
shrink, making it impossible to use the beefy bench in the bench.

*sigh*


I think the holes are going to get bigger, not shrink unless you add water
regularly. ;~) You gotta think shrink the other way.

No. The piece of wood that keeps the hole sides apart shrinks, hence
by this shrincage you hose the whole hole.

--
Dr. Juergen Hannappel http://lisa2.physik.uni-bonn.de/~hannappe
Phone: +49 228 73 2447 FAX ... 7869
Physikalisches Institut der Uni Bonn Nussallee 12, D-53115 Bonn, Germany
CERN: Phone: +412276 76461 Fax: ..77930 Bat. 892-R-A13 CH-1211 Geneve 23

On 15 Oct 2004 09:32:48 -0700, (Patrick Olguin)
wrote:


And let's further say that as the wood seasons, the bench dog holes
shrink, making it impossible to use the beefy bench in the bench.


What if you accelerated the dogs themselves to near the speed of
light. Don't they fit then? I guess they get heavy, but...

On 15 Oct 2004 09:32:48 -0700, (Patrick Olguin)
calmly ranted:

A hypothetical for your ponderment.

A wooddorker finds a bit of spare space in his yard^H^H^H^H shop, and
decides to quickly erect a stout bench from the materials at hand.

I know a few people who have screwed themselves that way, too.
DAMHIKT. squeak


Let's say the wooddorker finds some somewhat straight, and somewhat
cheap dimensional lumber at the local BORG and sets out to build a
functional bench from green douglas fir (not really a fir, but this is
common usage and I don't really have time discuss vagaries of the
various conifers for sale locally, though they are an extremely
interesting species), complete with carefully cut/milled/trimmed
square dog holes for a beefy iron bench dog.

Birdseye SPF? Wunnerful!


And let's further say that as the wood seasons, the bench dog holes
shrink, making it impossible to use the beefy bench in the bench.

How many times did we tell yo^H^Hcertain people that 1) ROUND DOGS
RULE! and 2) PINEYWOOD SUCKS!, hmmmmm?


*sigh*

Condolences to the sorry suckah suffering from that tale.


DAMHIKT.

Maybe you could mount it in your two-piece WorkMutt and...

LJ, who just finished making two replacement spacer bars for his
carving bench.(A coupla kerf-widths between tenons makes quite a
difference after all when the stiffener is in the middle of a 39"
tall leg.)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A PSYCHOLOGIST looks at everyone -else- || http://www.diversify.com
when an attractive woman enters the room. || Full Website Programming

On 15 Oct 2004 09:32:48 -0700, (Patrick Olguin)
wrote:

A hypothetical for your ponderment.

A wooddorker finds a bit of spare space in his yard^H^H^H^H shop, and
decides to quickly erect a stout bench from the materials at hand.
Let's say the wooddorker finds some somewhat straight, and somewhat
cheap dimensional lumber at the local BORG and sets out to build a
functional bench from green douglas fir (not really a fir, but this is
common usage and I don't really have time discuss vagaries of the
various conifers for sale locally, though they are an extremely
interesting species), complete with carefully cut/milled/trimmed
square dog holes for a beefy iron bench dog.

And let's further say that as the wood seasons, the bench dog holes
shrink, making it impossible to use the beefy bench in the bench.

*sigh*

DAMHIKT.

Humbly submitted,

Single-Stop O'Deen


chisel. open 'em up a bit.

(Patrick Olguin) wrote in message om...
A hypothetical for your ponderment.

A wooddorker finds a bit of spare space in his yard^H^H^H^H shop, and
decides to quickly erect a stout bench from the materials at hand.
Let's say the wooddorker finds some somewhat straight, and somewhat
cheap dimensional lumber at the local BORG and sets out to build a
functional bench from green douglas fir (not really a fir, but this is
common usage and I don't really have time discuss vagaries of the
various conifers for sale locally, though they are an extremely
interesting species), complete with carefully cut/milled/trimmed
square dog holes for a beefy iron bench dog.

And let's further say that as the wood seasons, the bench dog holes
shrink, making it impossible to use the beefy bench in the bench.

See what you get for working so fast? I built a similar
Bench-by-Borg(tm) and, since the lumber sat in my gar^h^hshop for
several months and through at least one episode of SantaAna weather
phenomena, they were essentially kiln-dried by glue-up time. And
SWMBO thought I was just being lazy.

*sigh*

Just make yer dogs outta similar Borg lumber so when they're dry
they'll fit right smartly.

Cheers,
Mike


DAMHIKT.

Humbly submitted,

Single-Stop O'Deen

"patrick conroy" wrote in message
...
On 15 Oct 2004 09:32:48 -0700, (Patrick Olguin)
wrote:


And let's further say that as the wood seasons, the bench dog holes
shrink, making it impossible to use the beefy bench in the bench.


What if you accelerated the dogs themselves to near the speed of
light. Don't they fit then? I guess they get heavy, but...

Trouble is, they'll only shrink in the direction of motion, so they'll get
shorter but not slimmer. Kinda like old age.

Trouble is, they'll only shrink in the direction of motion, so they'll get
shorter but not slimmer. Kinda like old age.

Hmmm...I haven't noticed that problem. But I have kinda gone from boxwood
to white pine.

(Patrick Olguin) wrote in
m:

snip
complete with carefully cut/milled/trimmed
square dog holes for a beefy iron bench dog.

And let's further say that as the wood seasons, the bench dog holes
shrink, making it impossible to use the beefy bench in the bench.

http://www.sears.com/sr/javasr/produ...vertical=TOOL&
pid=00938262000&subcat=Hammers

or, more befitting your status as Galoot Emeritus Maximus,

http://www.garrettwade.com/jump.jsp?...&itemType=PROD
UCT&iMainCat=10000&iSubCat=10053&iProductID=104544

As my father taught me, "If it don't fit...."

Patriarch