Jeff Thunder de cloaked and emerged from deep lurk mode to send me
this stab from the past, in response to the recent Cubbie thread.

He graciously gave me permission to re-post it on the Wreck.



Cub Scout Krenovs


And yes, it does involve woodworking/wrecking!


As some of you may know, I was diagnosed a little over 10 years ago
with . . . children. Yes, it's terminal. At any rate, in an effort to
mold (rot and decay) young minds and do my part for the community, I
consented to be a den leader for my two sons' Cub Scout pack. I
initially
took "basic training", aka "six hours on a folding chair", in order
to learn the ropes (sort of a scout joke, there) and to get that
spiffy "trained" badge on my uniform.

Four years and many grey hairs
later, I realize that I've been had. Just "an hour a week"? Yeah,
right.
Those kids they had on the instructional videos resemble the ones in
my dens only in that they were also young, carbon based life forms.
And that "discipline candle" idea? About as effective as a scraper
burr
turned by one of Daktari's simean pals.

So now I'm den leader for my second son, and they're a "wolves"
(second graders). One of the things I like to do is introduce
simple building and tool notions, like which end of the hammer to
pound with, the difference between a phillips head screwdriver and
a nail set, etc. Also included at no extra charge are some more
"advanced" notions, like when you drill all the way through a
piece of wood, you end up drilling some into the table beneath. We end
up building a couple things, with the ubiquitous birdhouse being
the pinacle of our craftsmanship.

In a momentary lapse of reason, I decided to have the little
varmints
build their birdhouses in my basement shop. Now I did take the usual
precautions
(wrote a last will and testament, contacted my insurance agent, etc.),
so I initially felt well prepared, though I'm sure wisened veterans of
these things are just sitting there shaking their heads. I also had
the
help of an assistant, whose duties up to that point consisted mainly
of
providing the snacks. (In hindsight, I'd have been better off with
Corporal Punishment, rather that General Foods.)

On first entering the shop, I'm hit by a barrage of questions.

"What's this?"

"It's a morticing machine."

"What does it do?"

"It drills square holes."

"Huh?"

"It, like, you know, does this." (I speak fluent kid.)

"Is this sharp?"

"Yes. General, will you get us some bandaids, please?"

"How do you turn this on?"

"You don't. It's a tape measure."

Kid lifting down heavy object off shelf: "Hey, Mr. Thunder, what's
this funny looking thing?"

Me bounding across shop to grab object before it's dropped: "That's
a Norris infill plane. General, take over for a minute while I change
my
shorts, please."

Upon entering the shop minutes later, I see the General and scouts
all
hovering around the table saw, wondering why it won't turn on. I look
over towards the panel box with the previously flipped breakers and
a smile comes over my face as I bask in the brilliance of my
foresight.

Actually, after that things calmed down "to a dull roar", as they
say.
I've already taxed your patience, I fear, so I'll bring this to an
end.
Suffice it to say that
the brace and bit was a huge success, eight year olds can have lots
of fun cutting with a coping saw (and a guiding hand behind them), and
putting in screws with the electric drill can make their day (a more
jaded man would have titled this "Cub Scout Camouts").

My son has since finished his project, and the pride felt in his
accomplishment far outweighs the jeers from our neighbors. ("What the
hell is that monstrosity hanging in your tree? It's not Halloween for
two more months.") A flourescent green, lopsided birdhouse with
flames and racing stripes? Hey, the birds don't care. It gives
them something else to crap all over instead of the car.


Yours from Hell,

--
Jeff Thunder
Regards,

Tom Watson

tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet (real email)

http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1/

Tom Watson wrote:
Jeff Thunder de cloaked and emerged from deep lurk mode to send me
this stab from the past, in response to the recent Cubbie thread.

He graciously gave me permission to re-post it on the Wreck.

Thanks for that. It made me thankful for 3 girls. There's never been
anything in my shop they have ever wanted rub into their hair or onto
their faces.

I did assist a friend's church group on a few occasions and found the
big-eyed 9 -10 year old 'men-to-be' very inquisitive, grabby, rough and
ill behaved. I loved it. They _did_ find things to rub into their hair
and onto their faces. They smelled different, especially after one of
them started a farting competition.

I helped some of them put that propellor on their clocks.. don't ask.

I now wish I had spent more time like that.

Thanks for that flashback.

r---- who thinks Jeff Thunder is a very funny guy.

"Robatoy" wrote in
oups.com:


Tom Watson wrote:
Jeff Thunder de cloaked and emerged from deep lurk mode to send me
this stab from the past, in response to the recent Cubbie thread.

He graciously gave me permission to re-post it on the Wreck.

Thanks for that. It made me thankful for 3 girls. There's never been
anything in my shop they have ever wanted rub into their hair or onto
their faces.

I did assist a friend's church group on a few occasions and found the
big-eyed 9 -10 year old 'men-to-be' very inquisitive, grabby, rough
and ill behaved. I loved it. They _did_ find things to rub into their
hair and onto their faces. They smelled different, especially after
one of them started a farting competition.

I helped some of them put that propellor on their clocks.. don't ask.

I now wish I had spent more time like that.

Thanks for that flashback.

r---- who thinks Jeff Thunder is a very funny guy.



We raised 4 sons, all the way through Scouts. Three got to Eagle, the
other one got to be a state-level swimming champion and a Life Scout. I
slept on enough rocks as a Scout leader to build an East coast mountain
range. They turned out OK, and Advil takes care of most of the lasting
effect on their old man.

Jeff Thunder _is_ a very funny guy, and Brother Watson has many more
fine experiences coming his way. Hope he keeps writing!

Patriarch