snip



The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were
campaigning......
Today you voted."


Good one Richard. And not only is it funny, it is sad and true.

George

That was definitely one of the better jokes.

i

//
Apologies if this has circulated recently...
//


THIS IS A NONPARTISAN JOKE THAT CAN BE ENJOYED BY BOTH PARTIES! NOT ONLY
THAT. It'S POLITICALLY CORRECT!!



While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by
a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems
there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts,
you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is
have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose
where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down,
down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of
a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in
front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked
with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him,
shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while
getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of
golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a
good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time
that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St
Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit heaven."

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls
moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a
good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St.
Peter returns. "Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in
heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never
have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I
would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to
hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren
land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and
putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I
don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there
was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and c aviar, drank
champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland
full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were
campaigning......
Today you voted."

On Fri, 25 Jan 2008 06:50:27 -0800, cavalamb himself wrote:
....
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were
campaigning......
Today you voted."

It used to be your choices in any election were, would you rather
be Hanged or Shot?

Nowadays it's more like, would you rather be Flayed alive or
Boiled in oil?

I'm voting Ron Paul - he's the only who's running who has actual
solutions to the country's problems, rather than just applying
more of the same bureacracy that caused the problem in the first
place.

Cheers!
RIch

On Jan 25, 7:46*pm, Richard The Dreaded Libertarian
wrote:
On Fri, 25 Jan 2008 06:50:27 -0800, cavalamb himself wrote:

...

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were
campaigning......
Today you voted."

It used to be your choices in any election were, would you rather
be Hanged or Shot?

Nowadays it's more like, would you rather be Flayed alive or
Boiled in oil?

I'm voting Ron Paul - he's the only who's running who has actual
solutions to the country's problems, rather than just applying
more of the same bureacracy that caused the problem in the first
place.

Cheers!
RIch

It's too bad the rest of you don't have the opportunity we do in New
Hampshire to talk to these people personally and get their unscripted
reactions to unexpected questions. Most of them are a whole lot less
impressive in person than on camera.

Jim Wilkins

"Jim Wilkins" wrote in message
...

It's too bad the rest of you don't have the opportunity we do in New
Hampshire to talk to these people personally and get their unscripted
reactions to unexpected questions. Most of them are a whole lot less
impressive in person than on camera.

I think you guys in New Hampshire are in a good position to change your
election laws to include an option of "No Thanks, try another batch." We
might force the political parties to do a little better job in giving us
better candidates.

--
Roger Shoaf
If you are not part of the solution, you are not dissolved in the solvent.

Richard The Dreaded Libertarian wrote:

On Fri, 25 Jan 2008 06:50:27 -0800, cavalamb himself wrote:
...

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were
campaigning......
Today you voted."


It used to be your choices in any election were, would you rather
be Hanged or Shot?

Nowadays it's more like, would you rather be Flayed alive or
Boiled in oil?

I'm voting Ron Paul - he's the only who's running who has actual
solutions to the country's problems, rather than just applying
more of the same bureacracy that caused the problem in the first
place.

Cheers!
RIch


And that effects the punch line - how???

Of course, that IS politiclaly INCORRECT for athiests and others who do not
believe in the concept of heaven/hell.

On Jan 25, 10:30*pm, "Roger Shoaf" wrote

I think you guys in New Hampshire are in a good position to change your
election laws to include an option of "No Thanks, try another batch." *We
might force the political parties to do a little better job in giving us
better candidates.

Roger Shoaf

Anyone with $1000 to blow can run for President here, and dozens do.
The ballot listed one as "Vermin Supreme".

We don't pretend to pick the eventual winners but we do allow the
lesser-known ones a chance to be heard without spending big money on
TV ads. McCain was speaking at every VFW club when his campaign ran
low on cash. I've even been invited to meet-the-candidate house
parties.

Jim Wilkins

On Jan 25, 6:46 pm, Richard The Dreaded Libertarian
wrote:
On Fri, 25 Jan 2008 06:50:27 -0800, cavalamb himself wrote:

...

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were
campaigning......
Today you voted."

It used to be your choices in any election were, would you rather
be Hanged or Shot?

Nowadays it's more like, would you rather be Flayed alive or
Boiled in oil?

I'm voting Ron Paul - he's the only who's running who has actual
solutions to the country's problems, rather than just applying
more of the same bureacracy that caused the problem in the first
place.

Cheers!
RIch

Sadly, Paul does not stand a chance and a vote for him is the same as
a vote for front runner. Elections have become more of a "who to vote
against" than a "who to vote for" contest

* wrote:

Of course, that IS politiclaly INCORRECT for athiests and others who do not
believe in the concept of heaven/hell.




Who cares...

Jim Wilkins wrote:

It's too bad the rest of you don't have the opportunity we do in New
Hampshire to talk to these people personally and get their unscripted
reactions to unexpected questions. Most of them are a whole lot less
impressive in person than on camera.

Jim Wilkins


Only most? :-)
...lew...

On Jan 26, 12:16*pm, Lew Hartswick wrote:
Jim Wilkins wrote:

It's too bad the rest of you don't have the opportunity we do in New
Hampshire to talk to these people personally and get their unscripted
reactions to unexpected questions. Most of them are a whole lot less
impressive in person than on camera.

Jim Wilkins

Only most? *:-)
* * ...lew...

They run a very busy schedule here with little sleep. Some do show
grace and tact under pressure and the ability to disagree politely,
others become irritable, which I think indicates how they might stand
up during a crisis or long foreign negotiating session.

The major candidates are always mobbed, so I look for the retired
notables who accompany them and listen to their tales. For example
Watergate special prosecutor Archibald Cox actually admired and
respected Richard Nixon very much. Carter trusted no one but himself
and micromanaged the details of the Iranian rescue attempt far beyond
his actual military knowledge. To his credit he was the only president
who ever bothered to memorize the details of SIOP (nuclear war)
procedures. In exercises, Reagan just asked "What do I do now,
General?".

Jim Wilkins

On Sat, 26 Jan 2008 00:46:06 GMT, Richard The Dreaded Libertarian wrote:

I'm voting Ron Paul - he's the only who's running who has actual
solutions to the country's problems, rather than just applying
more of the same bureacracy that caused the problem in the first
place.

The democratic nominee thanks you for your de-facto vote.

On Sat, 26 Jan 2008 10:28:21 -0800 (PST), with neither quill nor
qualm, Jim Wilkins quickly quoth:

On Jan 26, 12:16*pm, Lew Hartswick wrote:
Jim Wilkins wrote:

It's too bad the rest of you don't have the opportunity we do in New
Hampshire to talk to these people personally and get their unscripted
reactions to unexpected questions. Most of them are a whole lot less
impressive in person than on camera.

Jim Wilkins

Only most? *:-)
* * ...lew...

Don't laugh, Lew. One of those jerks (or jerkettes shudder) will be
our next Commander in Chief.


They run a very busy schedule here with little sleep. Some do show
grace and tact under pressure and the ability to disagree politely,
others become irritable, which I think indicates how they might stand
up during a crisis or long foreign negotiating session.

The major candidates are always mobbed, so I look for the retired
notables who accompany them and listen to their tales. For example
Watergate special prosecutor Archibald Cox actually admired and
respected Richard Nixon very much. Carter trusted no one but himself
and micromanaged the details of the Iranian rescue attempt far beyond
his actual military knowledge. To his credit he was the only president
who ever bothered to memorize the details of SIOP (nuclear war)
procedures. In exercises, Reagan just asked "What do I do now,
General?".

Carter is an outstanding woodworker, received a BS in Physics, ran a
nuke sub, and helped clean up a Canuckistani nuke reactor mess in
Canadia. OTOH, he was a lousy president. I remember the gasoline lines
in Carter's days as Prez. Not fun.

--
Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it.
Plan more than you can do, then do it.
-- Anonymous

Jim Wilkins wrote:

It's too bad the rest of you don't have the opportunity we do in New
Hampshire to talk to these people personally and get their unscripted
reactions to unexpected questions. Most of them are a whole lot less
impressive in person than on camera.


If they were any less impressive, they would all be dead. What a
bunch of boring crap they spout! ;( When will we have honest ballots
with a "None of the above" chioce that not only regectas every chioce,
but keeps them from ever running for office again?

I'd rather time slow drying paint with a calander, than watch the
rigged debates.


--
Service to my country? Been there, Done that, and I've got my DD214 to
prove it.
Member of DAV #85.

Michael A. Terrell
Central Florida

Seems like a reasonable place to continue an off-topic political rant...


News today...

Rather than a $600 check, maybe we should send every citizen a bill for
$150,000???

The idea that I'm personally responsible for the national debt
seems like typical political rhetoric.

I didn't get to decide how to spend any of that money.

I think the right thing to do is to re-divide the pie and send the bill
to every congressman and senator.



In related news,


New home sales lowest in 7 years - down 21% from last year.


Fast Food sales are way down. McDonalds says it may be the economy.

On Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:18:03 GMT, Rich Grise wrote:

On Sat, 02 Feb 2008 18:56:14 -0800, cavalamb himself wrote:
Rich Grise wrote:
On Fri, 01 Feb 2008 22:24:28 -0800, cavalamb himself wrote:
Rich Grise wrote:
On Tue, 29 Jan 2008 18:14:02 -0800, cavalamb himself wrote:

In related news,

New home sales lowest in 7 years - down 21% from last year.

Fast Food sales are way down. McDonalds says it may be the economy.

Where I work is a fab shop - machining and welding, and we're swamped
with work.

Where on Earth are you, Rich?

I might want to be your new neighbor...

Whittier, CA.

Uhh, can I gracefully back out without hurting any feelings.

Californiastan just isn't my kind of place....

Sure, no problem. :-)

Cheers!
Rich


Whittier is a kinda nice place, with good shooting ranges.

Gunner



"Pax Americana is a philosophy. Hardly an empire.
Making sure other people play nice and dont kill each other (and us)
off in job lots is hardly empire building, particularly when you give
them self determination under "play nice" rules.

Think of it as having your older brother knock the **** out of you
for torturing the cat." Gunner

On Tue, 29 Jan 2008 18:14:02 -0800, cavalamb himself wrote:
....
In related news,

New home sales lowest in 7 years - down 21% from last year.

Fast Food sales are way down. McDonalds says it may be the economy.

Where I work is a fab shop - machining and welding, and we're swamped
with work.

Cheers!
Rich

Rich Grise wrote:

On Tue, 29 Jan 2008 18:14:02 -0800, cavalamb himself wrote:
...

In related news,

New home sales lowest in 7 years - down 21% from last year.

Fast Food sales are way down. McDonalds says it may be the economy.


Where I work is a fab shop - machining and welding, and we're swamped
with work.

Cheers!
Rich


Where on Earth are you, Rich?

I might want to be your new neighbor...

On Sat, 02 Feb 2008 10:03:19 -0600, "David R. Birch"
wrote:

Rich Grise wrote:
On Tue, 29 Jan 2008 18:14:02 -0800, cavalamb himself wrote:
...
In related news,

New home sales lowest in 7 years - down 21% from last year.

Fast Food sales are way down. McDonalds says it may be the economy.

Where I work is a fab shop - machining and welding, and we're swamped
with work.

Cheers!
Rich


Same here, we LASER or waterjet cut, form and weld. We're looking at a
couple more 'jets and hiring brake operators and weldors. We've had to
extend our quoted lead times and other shops local to Milwaukee are
saying the same, as much work as they can handle. But you wouldn't
believe it if you read business section of the local fish wrap.

David
================
IMNSHO the problem seems to be that there is no longer *THE* U.S.
economy, but it is still reported that way. Rather a group of
U.S. economies now exist, some of which are closely linked to the
global economies, and some of which remain mostly isolated.

Changing economic/financial factors may affect these separate
economies in very different ways, for example the dollar exchange
rate. A low dollar exchange rate will depress the import
consumer economy because of the increased prices, while improving
the export sector because of the lower external prices.

The media has much of the responsibility for this as it appears
they assume that banking/finance and the bond/stock markets are
*THE* U.S. economy and devote almost no space to coverage of the
other economies such as manufacturing, agriculture, etc. Even
the housing crunch would be ignored except for the
sub-prime/CDO/SIV debacle and the resulting hit on wall street.

To be sure these "economies" interact, for example it may become
difficult for a booming manufacturing sector to obtain additional
[conventional] financing because of the [largely self-inflicted]
bank/financial panic. The correct response, again IMNSHO, is to
seek unconventional financing, bypassing the traditional
banks/lenders, rather than rolling over and playing dead.

On Fri, 01 Feb 2008 22:24:28 -0800, cavalamb himself wrote:
Rich Grise wrote:
On Tue, 29 Jan 2008 18:14:02 -0800, cavalamb himself wrote:

In related news,

New home sales lowest in 7 years - down 21% from last year.

Fast Food sales are way down. McDonalds says it may be the economy.

Where I work is a fab shop - machining and welding, and we're swamped
with work.

Where on Earth are you, Rich?

I might want to be your new neighbor...

Whittier, CA.
http://preview.tinyurl.com/3b58b5

Cheers!
Rich

Rich Grise wrote:
On Fri, 01 Feb 2008 22:24:28 -0800, cavalamb himself wrote:

Rich Grise wrote:

On Tue, 29 Jan 2008 18:14:02 -0800, cavalamb himself wrote:


In related news,

New home sales lowest in 7 years - down 21% from last year.

Fast Food sales are way down. McDonalds says it may be the economy.

Where I work is a fab shop - machining and welding, and we're swamped
with work.

Where on Earth are you, Rich?

I might want to be your new neighbor...


Whittier, CA.
http://preview.tinyurl.com/3b58b5

Cheers!
Rich



Uhh, can I gracefully back out without hurting any feelings.

Californiastan just isn't my kind of place....

On Sat, 02 Feb 2008 18:56:14 -0800, cavalamb himself wrote:
Rich Grise wrote:
On Fri, 01 Feb 2008 22:24:28 -0800, cavalamb himself wrote:
Rich Grise wrote:
On Tue, 29 Jan 2008 18:14:02 -0800, cavalamb himself wrote:

In related news,

New home sales lowest in 7 years - down 21% from last year.

Fast Food sales are way down. McDonalds says it may be the economy.

Where I work is a fab shop - machining and welding, and we're swamped
with work.

Where on Earth are you, Rich?

I might want to be your new neighbor...

Whittier, CA.

Uhh, can I gracefully back out without hurting any feelings.

Californiastan just isn't my kind of place....

Sure, no problem. :-)

Cheers!
Rich