Dear Cats:
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions
with one another so there are still three cats in the way. The dishes
with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes
are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the
middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming
your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
slightest.

The hallway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the end of the hall is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help,
because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to
ensure your comfort. Look at videos of cats sleeping; they can
actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular
to one another stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also
know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out
the other end to maximize space used is nothing but kitty sarcasm.

My phone cord is not black licorice. For the last time, there is not
a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there
and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine,
try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull
the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In
addition, I have been using bathrooms for years; feline attendance is
not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other cat's butt. I
cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

The bathroom sink is for washing hands and was not meant to be your
personal water fountain. I'm tired of being summoned to the bathroom
when you are ready for a drink. The bowl of water in the kitchen is
not contaminated and has no floaters! So from now on you will drink
from there... I put fresh water in daily!

Rules for non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our
pets.
1. The cats live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want cat hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my cats a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, he's a cat. To me, he's an adopted son who is short, hairy,
walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
5. Cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all
the time, are easier to train, sometimes come when called, never drive
your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or
drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your
clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get
pregnant, you can sell the kittens.

Gunner

"Gun Control, the theory that a 110lb grandmother should
fist fight a 250lb 19yr old criminal"

My cats and I have finally reached a milestone of mutual respect and
cooperation. All it took is a number of Korean recipes printed out and
tacked to the walls one foot from the ground, a squirt gun, and being able
to make a noise that they find irritating. The final straw was their
refusal to come in the shop if just the man-door was open...they like the
sound of the big door opener. I explained it was the little door or
freezing to death no mater how much the screamed. I do believe I'm ahead
with the discontinuation of Orkin's services for rodents, the cats take
very good care of that problem - except for the headless little gifts
presented in the morning, contrasted with the occasional vet bill. I still
don't understand the male's little two-day safaris with all his neighborhood
girlfriends, he's shooting blanks.

If you don't seize control, they will dictate terms for YOUR life. It
sounds like it's too late. You're kitty-whipped, and they know it.


"Gunner" wrote in message
...
Dear Cats:
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions
with one another so there are still three cats in the way. The dishes
with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes
are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the
middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming
your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
slightest.

The hallway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the end of the hall is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help,
because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to
ensure your comfort. Look at videos of cats sleeping; they can
actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular
to one another stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also
know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out
the other end to maximize space used is nothing but kitty sarcasm.

My phone cord is not black licorice. For the last time, there is not
a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there
and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine,
try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull
the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In
addition, I have been using bathrooms for years; feline attendance is
not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other cat's butt. I
cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

The bathroom sink is for washing hands and was not meant to be your
personal water fountain. I'm tired of being summoned to the bathroom
when you are ready for a drink. The bowl of water in the kitchen is
not contaminated and has no floaters! So from now on you will drink
from there... I put fresh water in daily!

Rules for non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our
pets.
1. The cats live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want cat hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my cats a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, he's a cat. To me, he's an adopted son who is short, hairy,
walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
5. Cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all
the time, are easier to train, sometimes come when called, never drive
your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or
drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your
clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get
pregnant, you can sell the kittens.

Gunner

"Gun Control, the theory that a 110lb grandmother should
fist fight a 250lb 19yr old criminal"

"Gunner" wrote in message
.. .
snip
the time, are easier to train, sometimes come when called, never drive
your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends,
-not so sure about that one...My cat's friend would get stoned on our
cat-nip every day!!!

--
Chris Holford

In article om,
"Tom Gardner" wrote:

If you don't seize control, they will dictate terms for YOUR life. It
sounds like it's too late. You're kitty-whipped, and they know it.

I have control. The cat comes in only when invited and spends 95% of
the time outside. When inside, any bad behavior (like getting on to ANY
table) resultd in immediate expulsion.

--
free men own guns - slaves don't
www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/5357/

Way funny, Gunner.

My wife is a PKT (Professional Kitty Tamer) Right now, on vacation in
Marathon FL, she's taming wild kittys to eat fresh fish at our door step.
Back in MN, she's tamed dozens of un-tamable wild kittys. Of course, a warm
20' x 30' greenhouse with a sand floor, plenty of fresh kitty food and other
goodies do help. All the kittys in the neighborhood move to our farm for the
winter.

Some day, when I'm gone, and she's an old widow with Old-timers disease.
You'll read about a lady in Minnesota with thousands of kittys for her
friends.

If you've got any kitty training questions, I'll ask the PKT for you.

Karl

In article , Gunner says...

My phone cord is not black licorice. For the last time, there is not
a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there
and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine,
try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull
the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In
addition, I have been using bathrooms for years; feline attendance is
not mandatory.

I don't get this. Our male cat just *has* to come in
while I'm having a ****. He flops down on the floor
and tries to attack my feet....

Jim

==================================================
please reply to:
JRR(zero) at yktvmv (dot) vnet (dot) ibm (dot) com
==================================================

lol, has anyone else seen the difference between the response to this
here, and the response to it over on alt.machines.cnc?

chem

Gunner wrote:

Dear Cats:
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions
with one another so there are still three cats in the way. The dishes
with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes
are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the
middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming
your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
slightest.

The hallway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the end of the hall is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help,
because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to
ensure your comfort. Look at videos of cats sleeping; they can
actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular
to one another stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also
know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out
the other end to maximize space used is nothing but kitty sarcasm.

My phone cord is not black licorice. For the last time, there is not
a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there
and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine,
try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull
the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In
addition, I have been using bathrooms for years; feline attendance is
not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other cat's butt. I
cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

The bathroom sink is for washing hands and was not meant to be your
personal water fountain. I'm tired of being summoned to the bathroom
when you are ready for a drink. The bowl of water in the kitchen is
not contaminated and has no floaters! So from now on you will drink
from there... I put fresh water in daily!

Rules for non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our
pets.
1. The cats live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want cat hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my cats a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, he's a cat. To me, he's an adopted son who is short, hairy,
walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
5. Cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all
the time, are easier to train, sometimes come when called, never drive
your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or
drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your
clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get
pregnant, you can sell the kittens.

Gunner

"Gun Control, the theory that a 110lb grandmother should
fist fight a 250lb 19yr old criminal"

Gunner wrote:

Long message to non-reading cats snipped.

The best thing I ever taught the terrier was
the "BACK" command, which he interprets as
"walk backwards 2 or 3 steps and stop". Since
he is a terrier, every time I open up a hole
from moving boxes, machines etc, he has to
jump in the breach and check for rats. This
quickly became a pain in the ass as I would
often want to put the box back.

On Sun, 28 Dec 2003 09:29:55 GMT, Gunner
brought forth from the murky depths:

Dear Cats:
-snip-
My phone cord is not black licorice. For the last time, there is not

Man, did _that_ date this post's origin. Phone cords haven't
been black since rotary dials, nigh onta 4 decades ago.



================================================== ========
I drank WHAT? + http://www.diversify.com
--Socrates + Web Application Programming

On Sun, 28 Dec 2003 08:04:03 -0800, jim rozen wrote:

I don't get this. Our male cat just *has* to come in
while I'm having a ****. He flops down on the floor
and tries to attack my feet....
Probably wants a different aroma.

--
Neil
Delete delete to reply by email

On Sun, 28 Dec 2003 18:36:38 GMT, Larry Jaques
wrote:

On Sun, 28 Dec 2003 09:29:55 GMT, Gunner
brought forth from the murky depths:

Dear Cats:
-snip-
My phone cord is not black licorice. For the last time, there is not

Man, did _that_ date this post's origin. Phone cords haven't
been black since rotary dials, nigh onta 4 decades ago.
Funny thing - I have 3 of them currently in use.
Oh, and a GREEN dial phone on the kitchen wall.



================================================= =========
I drank WHAT? + http://www.diversify.com
--Socrates + Web Application Programming

On 28 Dec 2003 08:04:03 -0800, jim rozen
wrote:

In article , Gunner says...

My phone cord is not black licorice. For the last time, there is not
a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there
and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine,
try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull
the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In
addition, I have been using bathrooms for years; feline attendance is
not mandatory.

I don't get this. Our male cat just *has* to come in
while I'm having a ****. He flops down on the floor
and tries to attack my feet....

This is typical feline hunting behavior. Hang out near the water hole,
and attack when the prey is otherwise constrained not to move. Lions
and panthers do pretty much the same thing, only on a larger scale.

Al Moore

And no, I'm not going to shoot another skunk in the kitchen just to make you
happy so stop trying to get into my bedroom!

--
Bob May
Losing weight is easy! If you ever want to lose weight, eat and drink less.
Works evevery time it is tried!

On Sun, 28 Dec 2003 18:36:38 +0000, Larry Jaques wrote:

On Sun, 28 Dec 2003 09:29:55 GMT, Gunner
brought forth from the murky depths:

Dear Cats:
-snip-
My phone cord is not black licorice. For the last time, there is not

Man, did _that_ date this post's origin. Phone cords haven't
been black since rotary dials, nigh onta 4 decades ago.

You can still buy them in black in UK.
My auto cutters are not the cats but one of our dogs.
--
Neil
Delete delete to reply by email

In article , Larry Jaques says...

Man, did _that_ date this post's origin. Phone cords haven't
been black since rotary dials, nigh onta 4 decades ago.

Ha ha. The *real* dating is, most folks don't *have*
phone cords any more.

Mine are brown fabric. See phone on wall:

http://www.metalworking.com/RCM-gallery/files/Rozen,Jim/Nshop6.jpg

Jim

==================================================
please reply to:
JRR(zero) at yktvmv (dot) vnet (dot) ibm (dot) com
==================================================

On 28 Dec 2003 15:03:17 -0800, jim rozen
brought forth from the murky depths:

In article , Larry Jaques says...

Man, did _that_ date this post's origin. Phone cords haven't
been black since rotary dials, nigh onta 4 decades ago.

Ha ha. The *real* dating is, most folks don't *have*
phone cords any more.

Well, that's true enough, too. I'm anti-cell-phone so don't
get me started. I should make up one of those signs in reverse
lettering that says "HANG UP AND DRIVE, YOU RECKLESS IDIOT!"
to carry in my truck with me. sigh...


Mine are brown fabric. See phone on wall:

http://www.metalworking.com/RCM-gallery/files/Rozen,Jim/Nshop6.jpg

ROTFLMAO! Judging by the phone, I'm surprised you even _have_ that
newfangled stuff called "electricity" there.


P.S: Looking at your shop, if you painted the walls/doors/ceiling
white, you'd have about 10x more light in there with no extra
cost for electricity or lighting.

--
Life's a Frisbee: When you die, your soul goes up on the roof.
----
http://diversify.com Comprehensive Website Development

brought forth from the murky depths:


Man, did _that_ date this post's origin. Phone cords haven't
been black since rotary dials, nigh onta 4 decades ago.

Ha ha. The *real* dating is, most folks don't *have*
phone cords any more.

Well, that's true enough, too. I'm anti-cell-phone so don't
get me started. I should make up one of those signs in reverse
lettering that says "HANG UP AND DRIVE, YOU RECKLESS IDIOT!"
to carry in my truck with me. sigh...

There are other cordless phones that AREN'T cell phones...I've got two of
them and two cell phones...and no, I don't talk on the phone and drive,
either.

Mike

jim rozen wrote:

In article , Larry Jaques says...

Man, did _that_ date this post's origin. Phone cords haven't
been black since rotary dials, nigh onta 4 decades ago.

Ha ha. The *real* dating is, most folks don't *have*
phone cords any more.

Mine are brown fabric. See phone on wall:

http://www.metalworking.com/RCM-gallery/files/Rozen,Jim/Nshop6.jpg


Do you actually use that phone, or is it for decoration only? Could you even
use it, it doesn't have a dial, only a magneto AFAIK.

Abrasha
http://www.abrasha.com

Jim,
I thought gloves were a BAD idea with machine tools but on the wall you have
a wear gloves sign.. Whats up
Alan Wood
"jim rozen" wrote in message
...
In article , Larry Jaques
says...

Man, did _that_ date this post's origin. Phone cords haven't
been black since rotary dials, nigh onta 4 decades ago.

Ha ha. The *real* dating is, most folks don't *have*
phone cords any more.

Mine are brown fabric. See phone on wall:

http://www.metalworking.com/RCM-gallery/files/Rozen,Jim/Nshop6.jpg

Jim

==================================================
please reply to:
JRR(zero) at yktvmv (dot) vnet (dot) ibm (dot) com
==================================================

In article k.net, Alan Wood
says...

Jim,
I thought gloves were a BAD idea with machine tools but on the wall you have
a wear gloves sign.. Whats up

OK, the sign is not on the wall, but on the basement door that
leads up to the driveway, there's a stairway and a bulkhead
door out that way.

The idea is, whenever I go out to do wrenching on the
bikes, I always forget to put on the blue nitrile gloves
before I head out that way. My skin's been a *lot*
better since I made it a hard and fast rule to wear
those gloves when working on vehicles like that,
I was really prone to 'non-specific contact dermatitis'
(that'll be 85 dollars for the diagnosis please...)
and the nitrile gloves seem like the best way to
prevent the grease and dirt from getting embedded
in my hands.

Jim

==================================================
please reply to:
JRR(zero) at yktvmv (dot) vnet (dot) ibm (dot) com
==================================================

In article , Abrasha says...

Do you actually use that phone, or is it for decoration only? Could you even
use it, it doesn't have a dial, only a magneto AFAIK.

Sure I use it - if you called today you could talk to me
on it [1]. That particular phone does not of course have
a magneto, it's designed to be common battery and central
office signalling. Basically just an extension that you
cannot dial out of.

They made another version of that with the dial on the front,
those go for much more money. But I have that one because
often I'm running in from outside to catch the phone, and
it's right by the door to the outside.

The honker big knife switch above that phone turns
on the line that goes out to the garage phone.

Jim

[1] the transmitters and receivers on phones of that
vintage are designed to be much more punchy at the
higher frequencies, because lines of that time had
poorer quality and amplification was at a premium.
So talking on it does sound a bit tinny, but that's
the way it was designed to be.

==================================================
please reply to:
JRR(zero) at yktvmv (dot) vnet (dot) ibm (dot) com
==================================================

In article , Larry Jaques says...

I'm anti-cell-phone so don't
get me started.

"Pardon me, is my driving interfering with your
phone call?" You haven't lived till you've
knocked on a ford explorer's driver window
from your bike, and asked that question.

"Drive now, Talk later" is the click & clack
bumper sticker.

P.S: Looking at your shop, if you painted the walls/doors/ceiling
white, you'd have about 10x more light in there with no extra
cost for electricity or lighting.

Heh. Some of that shop used to be painted white, a
long long time ago. The walls are loose stone, and
somebody tried to mortar the joints - so any paint
that would go on there would tend to come off pretty
fast. The overhead is another matter, but I tend
to have most of my lights with reflectors that shine
down towards the benchs or machines.

This is one of those things that I'm gonna get
a 'round-to' one of these days!

Jim

==================================================
please reply to:
JRR(zero) at yktvmv (dot) vnet (dot) ibm (dot) com
==================================================

A city wide blackout at 28 Dec 2003 15:03:17 -0800 did not prevent jim rozen
from posting to rec.crafts.metalworking the
following:
In article , Larry Jaques says...

Man, did _that_ date this post's origin. Phone cords haven't
been black since rotary dials, nigh onta 4 decades ago.

Ha ha. The *real* dating is, most folks don't *have*
phone cords any more.

Cartoon: man standing looking "lost". Caption "I wish someone would invent
a phone with a cord on it so that you could find it!"

Mine are brown fabric. See phone on wall:

--
pyotr filipivich.
as an explaination for the decline in the US's tech edge, James
Niccol wrote "It used to be that the USA was pretty good at
producing stuff teenaged boys could lose a finger or two playing with."

On 28 Dec 2003 18:58:33 -0800, jim rozen
brought forth from the murky depths:

In article , Larry Jaques says...

I'm anti-cell-phone so don't
get me started.

"Pardon me, is my driving interfering with your
phone call?" You haven't lived till you've
knocked on a ford explorer's driver window
from your bike, and asked that question.

I'd pay to see that film! g


"Drive now, Talk later" is the click & clack
bumper sticker.

Yabbut, it makes more impact when the driver behind
you holds it up in your rear view mirror which you
occasionally glance at after redialing.


P.S: Looking at your shop, if you painted the walls/doors/ceiling
white, you'd have about 10x more light in there with no extra
cost for electricity or lighting.

Heh. Some of that shop used to be painted white, a
long long time ago. The walls are loose stone, and
somebody tried to mortar the joints - so any paint
that would go on there would tend to come off pretty
fast. The overhead is another matter, but I tend
to have most of my lights with reflectors that shine
down towards the benchs or machines.

Once you realize how much brighter it is in a room with
white walls, you'll kick yourself if the arse 1,000 times
for not doing it sooner. DAMHIKT


This is one of those things that I'm gonna get
a 'round-to' one of these days!

Spray thinned latex with a garden sprayer or borrowed airless
spray rig and let it dry overnight. Wow, what a difference in
the morning! (I wish I'd thought of that before rolling my 2-
carless shop 3 times.) The white floor (not epoxy, just porch
paint) is helpful, too. Ever look for a lost screw on a white
floor? It shows up in seconds while it could take hours on an
ugly gray cement floor. Me? I'll never go to any other color.

Gloss whites have far too much glare, so use eggshell or flat.
Repaint when the inevitable fingerprints get too noticeable.

--
Life's a Frisbee: When you die, your soul goes up on the roof.
----
http://diversify.com Comprehensive Website Development

In article , pyotr filipivich
says...

Cartoon: man standing looking "lost". Caption "I wish someone would
invent a phone with a cord on it so that you could find it!"

Look, the *last* thing I need is a portable, untethered phone
that the ladies of the house can wander around with, yakking
all day long.

So the main phones in the house are candlestick type,
with short cords. So the person has to stand there,
with both hands occupied.

Jim

==================================================
please reply to:
JRR(zero) at yktvmv (dot) vnet (dot) ibm (dot) com
==================================================

jim rozen wrote:

In article , pyotr filipivich
says...

Cartoon: man standing looking "lost". Caption "I wish someone would
invent a phone with a cord on it so that you could find it!"

Look, the *last* thing I need is a portable,

That reminds me of a joke by Steven Wright: "I invented the cordless extension
cord."

Abrasha
http://www.abrasha.com

On 28 Dec 2003 21:08:24 -0800, jim rozen
brought forth from the murky depths:

In article , pyotr filipivich
says...

Cartoon: man standing looking "lost". Caption "I wish someone would
invent a phone with a cord on it so that you could find it!"

Look, the *last* thing I need is a portable, untethered phone
that the ladies of the house can wander around with, yakking
all day long.

Ah, what you need for peace and quiet is a phoneless cord.


So the main phones in the house are candlestick type,
with short cords. So the person has to stand there,
with both hands occupied.

That's smart, you sadistic SOB.


-
Yea, though I walk through the valley of Minwax, I shall stain no Cherry.
http://diversify.com

Look, the *last* thing I need is a portable, untethered phone
that the ladies of the house can wander around with, yakking
all day long.

So the main phones in the house are candlestick type,
with short cords. So the person has to stand there,
with both hands occupied.

"Daddy, you are so MEAN!" ROTFLMAO!!!

|"Drive now, Talk later" is the click & clack
|bumper sticker.
|
|Yabbut, it makes more impact when the driver behind
|you holds it up in your rear view mirror which you
|occasionally glance at after redialing.

Be sure to print it backwards

Rex in Fort Worth

On Mon, 29 Dec 2003 17:34:35 GMT, (Rex B)
brought forth from the murky depths:


|"Drive now, Talk later" is the click & clack
|bumper sticker.
|
|Yabbut, it makes more impact when the driver behind
|you holds it up in your rear view mirror which you
|occasionally glance at after redialing.

Be sure to print it backwards

Ayup, I specified "reverse font" in the original post.


-
Yea, though I walk through the valley of Minwax, I shall stain no Cherry.
http://diversify.com