If you had been paying attention to all the recent "religious spam" being
posted here (and hundreds of other newsgroups), you'd know that only Jesus
can save....not a floodlight.........

What the house stick or brick?

I remember a story in a prior thread of the three brothers; and u
remenber - they were pigs. One was a mason, a carpeter, and a
basketweaver (the basketweaver built his house of straw).

But insteat if a flood, they were troubled by wolf.

The masion pig was saved when he unplugged his computer and strangled
with wolf with the wire from his cable modem. So I guess pig was appy
too to be saved by a wire. If he had wireless internet he would have
been screwed.

c_kubie

I have to admit, having been wiped out by the floods here in '99, being in a
boat while ripping soffit off the shop to get the cat out of the attic, and
seeing some very strange things floating by, that I somehow got a perverse
kick out of that post, and laughed for a bit over it. It actually brightened
up my day. Nothing quite like waking up at night in your bed with your back
getting wet, like my friends did, or wading through your house in knee deep
water, wondering where your family will live, while gathering your dry
belongings. Got flooded out again a week later in a donated house as the
water kept rising in the area. 26,000 homes destroyed. Sure did make me
appreciate life more. Thanks for the laugh.

RJ

com.AOL@smithmartin wrote in message
...
It was past midnight and raining like crazy. The dam broke and the
river is overflowing it's banks and a wall of water is rushing toward
my house. It's a major flood and the flood alert sirens are blasting
loudly. I thought my only hope was to get to my car and drive away
from the flood. I just stepped out of my front door and felt myself
get sucked off my front porch and slammed against the wall. I thought
for sure that I was a goner, but somehow I was able to grab a hold of
my door and I pulled myself back into the house, which by then had a
foot of water over my carpeting. I grabbed my cell phone and called
911. The person on the other end asked me what was wrong. I told her
I am in a flood and it is too dark to see my car in order to escape
the flood. The 911 operator quickly asked me if there are any flood
lights on my house. I said yes, there is one above the porch. The
operator told me to turn it on, so I did. Immediately I could see
both my car and the neighbors house floating across the lawn. I told
the operator what I saw, and she said, "Sir, you have nothing to fear
now. You were prepared for this flood when you installed that flood
light". I'm glad to know that there are people in our community that
are careful enough to prepare in advance for things like floods". I
said, "but what am I to do now?". She said, do whatever you want.
You're in a flood, but you have a flood light, so you can now see the
flood. As long as you can see it, you will survive" I thanked her
and hung up the phone, knowing that flood light saved my life. After
this flood is over, I think I am going to install a spot light on my
house too, just in case I am ever attacked by spots.

Of course, the story don't end here. Now that my flood light in on, I
just looked out the window and noticed that my house is passing
Harvey's Bait shop. That has me worried, because Harvey's is 5 miles
down river. Then I quickly looked out the rear window and I can see
there are miles and miles of wires connected to floating power poles,
and the wires are getting tighter and tighter. This, has me very
worried, because if those wires stretch too far, they could break, and
if they do, my flood light will stop working, and I will drown. Worse
yet, if my phone line breaks, I will lose my internet connection and
will not be able to finish this message, which would be the worse
possible scenerio.

I just hope the wires last long enough to allow me to stay
on the
int e r n e t

com.AOL@smithmartin wrote in
:

It was past midnight and raining like crazy. The dam broke and the
river is overflowing it's banks and a wall of water is rushing toward
my house. It's a major flood and the flood alert sirens are blasting
loudly. I thought my only hope was to get to my car and drive away
from the flood. I just stepped out of my front door and felt myself
get sucked off my front porch and slammed against the wall. I thought
for sure that I was a goner, but somehow I was able to grab a hold of
my door and I pulled myself back into the house, which by then had a
foot of water over my carpeting. I grabbed my cell phone and called
911. The person on the other end asked me what was wrong. I told her
I am in a flood and it is too dark to see my car in order to escape
the flood. The 911 operator quickly asked me if there are any flood
lights on my house. I said yes, there is one above the porch. The
operator told me to turn it on, so I did. Immediately I could see
both my car and the neighbors house floating across the lawn. I told
the operator what I saw, and she said, "Sir, you have nothing to fear
now. You were prepared for this flood when you installed that flood
light". I'm glad to know that there are people in our community that
are careful enough to prepare in advance for things like floods". I
said, "but what am I to do now?". She said, do whatever you want.
You're in a flood, but you have a flood light, so you can now see the
flood. As long as you can see it, you will survive" I thanked her
and hung up the phone, knowing that flood light saved my life. After
this flood is over, I think I am going to install a spot light on my
house too, just in case I am ever attacked by spots.

Of course, the story don't end here. Now that my flood light in on, I
just looked out the window and noticed that my house is passing
Harvey's Bait shop. That has me worried, because Harvey's is 5 miles
down river. Then I quickly looked out the rear window and I can see
there are miles and miles of wires connected to floating power poles,
and the wires are getting tighter and tighter. This, has me very
worried, because if those wires stretch too far, they could break, and
if they do, my flood light will stop working, and I will drown. Worse
yet, if my phone line breaks, I will lose my internet connection and
will not be able to finish this message, which would be the worse
possible scenerio.

I just hope the wires last long enough to allow me to stay
on the
int e r n e t



Glad you finally SEE THE LIGHT.

com.AOL@smithmartin wrote:
It was past midnight and raining like crazy. The dam broke and the
river is overflowing it's banks and a wall of water is rushing toward
my house. It's a major flood and the flood alert sirens are blasting
loudly. I thought my only hope was to get to my car and drive away
from the flood. I just stepped out of my front door and felt myself
get sucked off my front porch and slammed against the wall. I thought
for sure that I was a goner, but somehow I was able to grab a hold of
my door and I pulled myself back into the house, which by then had a
foot of water over my carpeting. I grabbed my cell phone and called
911. The person on the other end asked me what was wrong. I told her
I am in a flood and it is too dark to see my car in order to escape
the flood. The 911 operator quickly asked me if there are any flood
lights on my house. I said yes, there is one above the porch. The
operator told me to turn it on, so I did. Immediately I could see
both my car and the neighbors house floating across the lawn. I told
the operator what I saw, and she said, "Sir, you have nothing to fear
now. You were prepared for this flood when you installed that flood
light". I'm glad to know that there are people in our community that
are careful enough to prepare in advance for things like floods". I
said, "but what am I to do now?". She said, do whatever you want.
You're in a flood, but you have a flood light, so you can now see the
flood. As long as you can see it, you will survive" I thanked her
and hung up the phone, knowing that flood light saved my life. After
this flood is over, I think I am going to install a spot light on my
house too, just in case I am ever attacked by spots.

Of course, the story don't end here. Now that my flood light in on, I
just looked out the window and noticed that my house is passing
Harvey's Bait shop. That has me worried, because Harvey's is 5 miles
down river. Then I quickly looked out the rear window and I can see
there are miles and miles of wires connected to floating power poles,
and the wires are getting tighter and tighter. This, has me very
worried, because if those wires stretch too far, they could break, and
if they do, my flood light will stop working, and I will drown. Worse
yet, if my phone line breaks, I will lose my internet connection and
will not be able to finish this message, which would be the worse
possible scenerio.

I just hope the wires last long enough to allow me to stay
on the
int e r n e t

Water good joke!